[Discussions] WOW #2 - April 2016

[Ignis]

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This is a discussion thread for WOW #2. Here you can ask questions, post comments, and even post your draft work for others to comment on. While you can edit your entry submission post and remake your entry as many times as you please before the deadline, if you think there's still something missing from your story, consider posting it here first if you'd like to ask advice from your fellow entrants.

The theme for WOW #2 is WISH.
I wish I could make people wish that my wishes would come true.​

You don't really have to write about your wishes or (anyone's for that matter). While the theme of the first round may necessitate the actual happening of a journey of some sort being part of the plot, this theme doesn't require the elaborations of someone's wish or the writing of a story centred around such a feel. You can, for example, write about a normal narrative story with hints at the desires of a character that at the end of the story come true whether through their own efforts or force majeure (which, I must stress, is not the same thing as a deus ex machina). Let's see how far your imaginative talents can take you. Best of luck to all participants!

The deadline is on 30 APRIL 2016.
You MAY edit your entry submission post as many times as you please before the deadline.​

Please submit your entry before the deadline. If you're unsure about certain aspects of your draft entry, feel free to ask around in the discussion thread. You can have only ONE post in the entry submission thread, but you're not restricted from discussing the WoW as much as you want in the discussion thread. The deadline may be extended on our discretion if circumstances necessitate it, but it won't be shortened for no reason, so rest assured and don't rush. Take your time to make a masterpiece!

This thread is only for DISCUSSIONS!
To submit your entry, please go to this thread instead.​

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[ancer_nyaa]

Not being a nit picker but isn't this WOW thread #2 ?

"This is a discussion thread for WOW #1 ."

 

[Ignis]

Not being a nit picker but isn't this WOW thread #2 ?

"This is a discussion thread for WOW #1 ."

Right. Must've missed that part after copying it from the previous round's thread. Thanks.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I was just wandering, I got the participant award and stuff but one thing bothers my mind. What if I get another participant award? Will it have a number beside it?

 

[Ignis]

I was just wandering, I got the participant award and stuff but one thing bothers my mind. What if I get another participant award? Will it have a number beside it?

Yes. Both awards (participant and winner) for the first round already have numbering, too. It's not visible in the small award icons shown in your postbit and profile page, but the full-size icons are available on the award list page. WOW awards will use Roman numerals.

The reason I didn't add many at once like the SOTM is due to the bug inherent in the awards system that I thought I had managed to fix but apparently kept coming back whenever I added new awards. So, instead of adding WOW awards in a batch, I'm going to only add them right when they're going to be assigned to their rightful recipients.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

Just putting it down here, I am planning to participate to this WOW. I just have a lot of things blocking me currently.


Most of the reason I am late is that I can't think of any ideas for now. However, I will have an idea! I hope...

 

[Ignis]

Just putting it down here, I am planning to participate to this WOW. I just have a lot of things blocking me currently.


Most of the reason I am late is that I can't think of any ideas for now. However, I will have an idea! I hope...

That's good to hear. Looking forward to your entry!

Don't let me be lonely here.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I will review Ignis' Short Story, The Verge Of Innocence. Before I start, I am totally not neglecting any research papers, totally not.

Spoiler: Review Of "The Verge Of Innocence"

I know it is weird to start with an over all thought of the story but I will start in an Overall thought of the story. Overall, the tone was spot on. It got that dark and sad feeling which I really like. It was really immersive even though I had to look up couple of vocabularies in google. Speaking of vocabularies, the diction of the story was vast (at least to me) which is always good for works like Poems and Short Stories or any literary things out there that I have no idea exist.

I thought that Misha will become like a batman figure after losing Veronica and Wolfgang. "A good ending is always good" said Ancer as he tried to sound cool.

In my opinion, it is worth a read......yeah.....go read it, well...if you've already read it, I guess go do something else like.....eat a pie

 

[Ignis]

I will review Ignis' Short Story, The Verge Of Innocence. Before I start, I am totally not neglecting any research papers, totally not.

Spoiler: Review Of "The Verge Of Innocence"

I know it is weird to start with an over all thought of the story but I will start in an Overall thought of the story. Overall, the tone was spot on. It got that dark and sad feeling which I really like. It was really immersive even though I had to look up couple of vocabularies in google. Speaking of vocabularies, the diction of the story was vast (at least to me) which is always good for works like Poems and Short Stories or any literary things out there that I have no idea exist.

I thought that Misha will become like a batman figure after losing Veronica and Wolfgang. "A good ending is always good" said Ancer as he tried to sound cool.

In my opinion, it is worth a read......yeah.....go read it, well...if you've already read it, I guess go do something else like.....eat a pie

I actually tried not to be too flowery (partially due to the word limit too, and I do have a tendency to get verbose), but I'm flattered to hear your compliment on the story being immersive. As for Misha becoming "like a batman figure", though, I thought a story with a theme of "wish" having a good ending would be too common. That, and Misha is actually a recurring personage (or personification; she's not always human) in the universe that is my mind, whom I always associate with death, darkness, disasters, purgatory, stuff like that.

Thanks for your comment!

 

[Ignis]

[MENTION=65000]ancer_nyaa[/MENTION]; Glad to see you made it :) I like how the girl wishes for something so simple, something that many people take for granted but is so valuable to her. Perhaps it's also a situation that can happen in real life, wherein a resourceful person who (in everyone's eyes) has everything secretly desires for something that may seem trivial to others. Well written.

[MENTION=93615]aienma[/MENTION]; Thanks for participating! I think your story is okay; the way I read it, all the "dark" stereotyping has less to do with racism or black-white enmity and more with how brighter skin colour within people of the same race translates to "beauty". Your location says you're from Malaysia, and if I have to culturally judge from your background, it seems to support my proposition that it has more to do with stereotypically-accepted aesthetics rather than racials, as is common with Southeast Asians. Of course, that doesn't make it acceptable in terms of social issues, but for all intents and purposes, it's fine as an entry.

The part that I really liked is when the main character phased out of reality and found "her"self back in her own childhood with her mom, followed by the maddening reality that she wasn't even who she tried to identify herself as (a girl). The ending is also well done, with a rather flamboyant speech and a 'lesson' accompanying the harshness of reality the main character had to bear. The writing could use some polish, but it's pretty fine as it is, and the idea is very interesting.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! someone finally jumped in the fray!!!!!! I guess I'll be having two books now

 

[Ignis]

And another one!

[MENTION=126035]Holler[/MENTION]; It looks like you're off to a good start. Looking forward to the finished version. Do let me know when you're done with it. And don't worry; you may be living in the future, but you've still got five days left from my point of view ;)

 

[Holler]

Ugh... i don't like this feeling of disappointment, but here I go:

I sincerely apologize Kowtows

I didn't expect my school to dump a huge amount of work for me... school break just ended, can you believe it? T.T
(Holds back from ranting and complaining, seriously, you don't wanna see it as it's unnecessary)

Still though, I'll definitely try future events when I've got the free time. So please continue churning these events, they're fun to participate in~

Again, I have to repeatedly say sorry. I don't expect forgiveness, but I will still say my sorry.

Note: I will still keep my unfinished story there, as a mark of my shame! (or I wouldn't mind if someone continued it from there even if the story turns out different form what I had in mind, if anyone's interested and even though I've only just started it)

 

[Ignis]

Don't be sorry, you've done nothing wrong :) Everyone knows what it's like when school break ends. Been there, done that. I'll be looking forward to your future participation, then.

Note: I will still keep my unfinished story there, as a mark of my shame! (or I wouldn't mind if someone continued it from there even if the story turns out different form what I had in mind, if anyone's interested and even though I've only just started it)

It's got a pretty interesting offset; I think I could muster up an idea or two for a storyline to branch off it. I may give it a try, if only for fun, though I'll make no promises (as it'll have to contend with my other responsibilities).

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I didn't expect my school to dump a huge amount of work for me... school break just ended, can you believe it? T.T

I feel you, I feel your feelings....

 

[JaxxBlaxx]

I'm actually planning on joining this WOW, and I've established an idea too; but being busy and all in real life and the lack of motivation to write these days, I'm not sure whether I can make it to the deadline...

Anyways~ The point of this message is just to wish all the contestants best of luck (well, not luck, but more just plain best wishes?) I suck in writing reviews, thus I would not do so - but all in all, I really like the messages conveyed by all the stories!

 

[ancer_nyaa]

I'm actually planning on joining this WOW, and I've established an idea too; but being busy and all in real life and the lack of motivation to write these days, I'm not sure whether I can make it to the deadline...

Anyways~ The point of this message is just to wish all the contestants best of luck (well, not luck, but more just plain best wishes?) I suck in writing reviews, thus I would not do so - but all in all, I really like the messages conveyed by all the stories!

Only a couple of days Jaxx, rush to victory!!!

 

[Ignis]

I'm actually planning on joining this WOW, and I've established an idea too; but being busy and all in real life and the lack of motivation to write these days, I'm not sure whether I can make it to the deadline...

Anyways~ The point of this message is just to wish all the contestants best of luck (well, not luck, but more just plain best wishes?) I suck in writing reviews, thus I would not do so - but all in all, I really like the messages conveyed by all the stories!

Thanks for your wishes :) Considering that the 30th is Saturday, I really won't mind extending it one or two days if that means you'll make it. Besides, with me measuring time from the pacific side of the world, it'll probably mean an additional few hours for others not living in the same longitudinal region.

 

[JaxxBlaxx]

Thanks for your wishes :) Considering that the 30th is Saturday, I really won't mind extending it one or two days if that means you'll make it. Besides, with me measuring time from the pacific side of the world, it'll probably mean an additional few hours for others not living in the same longitudinal region.

Thank you [MENTION=65000]ancer_nyaa[/MENTION]; and [MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; for the encouragement! However, with me being the lazy procrastinator that I am (and the piles of homework I still have left for the next week), I'm afraid that I can't complete my story

Anyways, I'm just going to leave my incomplete story here if anyone wants to read/complete/revamp it:

Spoiler: Incomplete story

Alice in “Wonderland”

Since a tender age, Alice had always been fond of rabbits. Hopping anywhere without a care despite their limitations and lack of wings – surely, this is what freedom means, Alice thought. And so she wished hard; she craved to meet her own White Rabbit, a depiction of her own “freedom”. However, little did she know that God had taken a whimsical liking to this wish of hers.

--Tick tock, tick tock. The clock struck one.

I’m late! I’m late!

A voice resembling that of a broken record played out in Alice’s mind as she dashed across the streets for her sister’s errand. Despite fearing how her sibling would definitely condone her for her tardiness, Alice’s legs instinctively headed towards an alley far across. Despite her subconscious yet unnatural action, she knew her reason for doing so, for she was sure that at least for a second, she had taken caught of a glimpse of a White Rabbit there.

Caterpillar arc – where Alice met with the Caterpillar smoking a hookah and was compelled to eat a magic “mushroom”.

Cheshire Cat arc – where Alice came across a trickster of a cat, leading her even more astray in Wonderland.

Mad Hatter arc – where Alice had what was called a “tea party” with the Mad Hatter and the March Hare; by the end, the present Alice had become merely a shadow of the innocent Alice.

Queen arc – where the ruler of Wonderland was introduced and Alice was reunited with the White Rabbit; a chain of events led to the killing of the Queen by the hands of our dear protagonist.

--Tick tock, tick tock. And the clock stopped ticking.

Everything was nothing but darkness. A pair of blood-red eyes shone dimly, slowly tracing its surroundings and finally resting upon a corner, wherein lied the rotting remains of the “Queen”.

“Filth.” The owner of those eyes muttered as she stood up, her hair and clothing in disarray.

With a knife in one hand, she limped towards the door of the room she had been trapped in. To her dismay, it creaked open, revealing the presence of an unknown man. A smirk grew on her face as she noticed the package of white powder in the man’s hands; brandishing her knife, her movements became more fluid as she approached him. A soft breath passed out of her lips as she spoke:

“I finally found you – my White Rabbit.”

 

[Ignis]

Thank you [MENTION=65000]ancer_nyaa[/MENTION]; and [MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; for the encouragement! However, with me being the lazy procrastinator that I am (and the piles of homework I still have left for the next week), I'm afraid that I can't complete my story

Anyways, I'm just going to leave my incomplete story here if anyone wants to read/complete/revamp it:

Understandable. I'm just glad those days are behind me now (I know I'll miss them one day, but still). Your story is off to a great start. I suppose an Alice in Wonderland plot having a dark twist isn't exactly new, but I tend to like that. I just can't resist the transition of a plot that initially looked all jolly and innocuous into a "what went wrong?" kind of event provided it's written nicely.

Between yours and Holler's, both stories conjure up ideas in my head I'd like to see expanded, but sadly, I've got my own time constraints as well. I'm definitely looking forward to your participation in the future rounds and hope you'll both have the leisure for it and be inclined to enter again.

After many rewrites and changing story ideas, I finally got something done. This is my first time writing a slice of life story so I'm hoping it turned out alright. Although it kind of derailed at the end, and was rushed because I was afraid that I wouldn't get it in on time. I will add some more if the thread is still open when I wake up. For now though, sleep~

It turned out great! I'd be lying if I said the story didn't feel rushed as I read it, but you nonetheless managed to keep the flow smooth and not diffused. I do have a soft spot for that kind of plot, even though I prefer girl meets girl to boy meets girl, so it also roused my feels, so to speak. A slice-of-life story with a positive angle to it actually feels refreshing amidst an assortment of short stories with a dark slant. Doubly so when the theme actually suggests something nice.

Also, I see that you've made some edits to the entry; are you still going to edit or add to it? Because I totally can wait. It's still pretty early anyway.

 

[ancer_nyaa]

Thank you [MENTION=65000]ancer_nyaa[/MENTION]; and [MENTION=2]Ignis[/MENTION]; for the encouragement! However, with me being the lazy procrastinator that I am (and the piles of homework I still have left for the next week), I'm afraid that I can't complete my story

So....I'm currently accepting members for my Procrastination Club...so...uh, you in? I mean, we're both in a journey of Dark Souls Education ver. so why not be together in a club.

I don't know about your work but writing a research paper about the history of doorknob is not fun. Stay strong, brother, it will end some day.

(Disclaimer: History of Doorknob is something I am not researching. It is there for the sake of a joke)

 

[Velenora]

It turned out great! I'd be lying if I said the story didn't feel rushed as I read it, but you nonetheless managed to keep the flow smooth and not diffused. I do have a soft spot for that kind of plot, even though I prefer girl meets girl to boy meets girl, so it also roused my feels, so to speak. A slice-of-life story with a positive angle to it actually feels refreshing amidst an assortment of short stories with a dark slant. Doubly so when the theme actually suggests something nice.

Also, I see that you've made some edits to the entry; are you still going to edit or add to it? Because I totally can wait. It's still pretty early anyway.

Thank you so much for the feedback, Ignis! Note to self, make it girl meets girl next time.

I added some more, which I think will be my final edit :) (Although it still feels really rushed at the end xD) Thanks for waiting, and I'm really sorry for holding the competition up :(

 

[Ignis]

Thank you so much for the feedback, Ignis! Note to self, make it girl meets girl next time.

I added some more, which I think will be my final edit :) (Although it still feels really rushed at the end xD) Thanks for waiting, and I'm really sorry for holding the competition up :(

That's quite alright, Vel. You didn't delay anything; I was tired and slept so early yesterday anyway. And thanks for perfecting your entry!

Also, the new round is up (judging will be done later, as usual, as it consumes more time). Let's move there :)

 

[|♚|KK|♚|]

Contest ended results are announced, thread closed.