Confession

[LadyBenihime]

The biggest difference that I know of between dating and courting is that in regards to courting, marriage is the destination that both people involved expect. There is also a level of seriousness and like snowangel~ mentioned it usually involves each person's family, contains supervised dates and often doesn't involve any kind of "physical" relationship until you are engaged or married..

I don't think that dating is necessarily superficial.. I mean.. dating is just going out and socializing with someone with the intent to decide if you are romantically interested in them.. (beyond looks or whatever). Some people will "date" more than one person at a time.. but (unless you're inconsiderate) you would tell the people you're dating that they're not the only one you're dating.. and then at some point you stop dating anyone that you know you don't want to have a serious relationship with (either narrowing it down to one person or perhaps none of them and starting over). Especially as you get older it becomes more vital to date a person before becoming serious about them.. most people wont become girlfriend/boyfriend unless they're willing to consider marriage with that person in the future

 

[~SnowAngel~]

so what kind of focus about relationships would you guys like to hear? There's alot to cover for any subject really~ and I'd give it my all with stuff online or books I have :P

there's one phrase in a book that i just laugh when i remember~

Spoiler

God is looking for a wife, not a girlfriend

The context with that is basically going to an amusenment park for the emotions and just leave later on.

 

[Keisuke Kurogami]

lol tats True

but i still dun hav any of them

 

[~SnowAngel~]

one secret i think applies to most relationships I'll let you guys know~
If you're looking for a relationship because it makes you feel good, you'll probably not stay together for long. A relationship that focuses on yourself puts a burden on the other person that they can't carry. They also cannot become everything you wanted. Every relationship does have problems, you can ask any married couple that.

My sister got married recently~ :P
She had an argument with her husband within the first week XD but they love each other to death sooo they're able to not let something like that get between them.

ummm you could say that completely being selfless is bad too. I mean, there's some girls who feel loves in a relationship where the guy gives her bruises for wtv reason. She feels valued and afraid of being alone, but at the same time unloved. (it's complicated really~)

------
The biggest thing for guys is to be willing in their relationship. If you're truly doing your best, that's the first part.
There is some immaturity with girls as well, such as not talking about what's bothering her. Guys can actually learn how to tell when a girl behaves like this, and it'll completely make sense~ :P


sooo i'm talking too much XD but really, there are wonderful books that can give you a foundation to start from. In December after the 14th, I'll try to get one for the guys~

 

[Keisuke Kurogami]

tats True

but it still hard to close to girl...
I still dun wun hav any girlfriend until i get work

 

[Karlotto]

I thought this would be a confession thread...I had my secrets ready and everything.

 

[SaikoMorino]

[MENTION=36883]LadyBenihime[/MENTION] ; not necessarily but it becomes like that in some occasions. some don't even have any seriousness at all leading to relationships that don't last. others would reserve the dating part for someone they are really serious with.

[MENTION=17020]~SnowAngel~[/MENTION] ; hmm too many to think of hahaha you can choose to narrow it down for ;)
also you've read a LOT :)))))))

[MENTION=37032]Keisuke Kurogami[/MENTION] ; they will get to you eventually

one secret i think applies to most relationships I'll let you guys know~
If you're looking for a relationship because it makes you feel good, you'll probably not stay together for long. A relationship that focuses on yourself puts a burden on the other person that they can't carry. They also cannot become everything you wanted. Every relationship does have problems, you can ask any married couple that.

My sister got married recently~ :P
She had an argument with her husband within the first week XD but they love each other to death sooo they're able to not let something like that get between them.

ummm you could say that completely being selfless is bad too. I mean, there's some girls who feel loves in a relationship where the guy gives her bruises for wtv reason. She feels valued and afraid of being alone, but at the same time unloved. (it's complicated really~)

------
The biggest thing for guys is to be willing in their relationship. If you're truly doing your best, that's the first part.
There is some immaturity with girls as well, such as not talking about what's bothering her. Guys can actually learn how to tell when a girl behaves like this, and it'll completely make sense~ :P


sooo i'm talking too much XD but really, there are wonderful books that can give you a foundation to start from. In December after the 14th, I'll try to get one for the guys~

getting over these problems are what makes relationships stronger. I can't imagine a relationship without any problems at all even the petty ones :)))

people look for different things. some are afraid of being alone so they always try not to break the relationships even if they're hurt

 

[Keisuke Kurogami]

[MENTION=26533]Kionea[/MENTION]; EHHH !! wut secret !!! I love secret...

 

[LadyBenihime]

In regards to couples fighting.. especially married couples.. I can tell you from experience that sharing your space, your life, your money, your goals, your future etc with one person is always going to create friction at times.. but that's part of life. You and whoever you share your life with are just not going to agree on everything.. you learn to compromise.. and if there are things in your life that you know you can't compromise on it's important for both people to be aware of that before getting married.. it's one of the many reasons to talk about many different things before deciding to make that commitment..
Small example - I've had a co-checking account with my husband since long before we got married.. on the other hand I had a coworker who had a separate checking out from her husband (even though they had been married for a few years already).

There's no right or wrong way of doing many things like that.. it's just a matter of both people agreeing..

Anyway.. You learn as you get older to let petty arguments go, to compromise on things you never thought you'd compromise on and that communication (and honesty within that communication) is one of the most important things in a relationship of any kind

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Lol confessions xD Hmm though this is more about relationships ;p

Well i heard talk about how people who want to get married should live together for a while and work out arguments and stuff~ it gives them an idea of how it would be like living together... since they are doing so xD

 

[SaikoMorino]

yeah a lot of stuff to be done before getting married

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Hmm selflessness... well i assume they are getting something out of the relationship in the end... even if theyre abused... they probably think the guy/girl could go back to how they used to be and the relationship would be fine? Sometimes there other stuff like the guy/girl threatening to hurt themselves if they break up?...

 

[Karlotto]

Hmm...well, when I`m alone I talk to myself and say my thoughts out loud. Not on purpose, it just happens. I keep myself from doing it around people cause they`d think I`m "crazy"...which could be quite the accurate statement but uh...

 

[nanashi1]

I think, that this over talked is...~

 

[Selvaria Bles]

I confess nothing....

O_O

sorry not my style...

 

[nanashi1]

Well.......~

 

[~SnowAngel~]

he knows something... AFTER HIM!

 

[Selvaria Bles]

what your going to hound me for not confessing that I hold the key to all the AS members hearts <_<

 

[nanashi1]

...Really~? Sorry, but so far now I'm not feel it...~

 

[Selvaria Bles]

i never said i did XD

LOL

just said are you going guys going to hound me til say something like that.

 

[nanashi1]

))) That make sense...~

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Hmm to hound

 

[CowSlayer69]

i am also of the opinion that it does not matter