I'm a guy and see myself more as a wingman or sidekick to the MC than anything else, like "girl if I were you I'd do this". I approach it like reading a romance novel or watching a movie: I'm here to see what the dynamic between those two characters are like and if their story is going to make me feel emotional, but I get to have more impact through in-game choices.
That's also why I personally have a lot of trouble with MCs who aren't their own characters and are meant to be some mute self-insert, because I have a harder time connecting with them and don't feel as invested in the story as I could.
Though I will 100% support people who self-insert, I think the point of otome games and a lot of the appeal is to see yourself in those stories and living those adventures after all!