Has anyone learned dating tips by listening to otome dramas or reading otome manga?

[uid.fenghuang]

After all, the male leads in otome works usually embody a variety of idealized traits: they're gentle, devoted, understanding, and good at creating surprises.

In real life, people aren't always perfect, nor do they always read your mind perfectly every time.

So when reading otome manga or listening to otome dramas, the best approach isn't to treat them as a guide to romance, but rather as a source of inspiration and guidance.

We can learn from the communication styles, ways of expressing feelings, and the sense of ritual depicted in them, but we also need to accept that real-life relationships require compromise and mutual effort from both partners.

Finally, I'd like to ask everyone:

Have you picked up any little dating tips from reading otome manga or listening to otome dramas?

Or is there an otome character who made you think, "So this is what an ideal relationship looks like"?

 

[ninnikuryona]

nope, my fiction stays strictly fictional. if i exited otome games/cds/manga thinking "wow relationships are so cool i wish there was a man like in this otome content", id just be depressed 247 LOL
though maybe it has something to do with me giving up on romantic relationships altogether. like, i know myself very well, and unfortunately im not even 1/5 as attractive or cute or well-behaved as otome heroines..... ehehe (cries)

if anything, the main thing otome has ever taught me is that you shouldnt expect too much from relationships, as harsh as it sounds. like, basic human decency? thats not an expectation, thats the standard. anything past that though is just a nice bonus. something like that(?)

not entirely sure i understood the question, so id like to hear other people out:"3

 

[satory]

There maybe are an embodiment of every girl's dream kind of characters, but there are just as many hopless guys, (Amnesia, VariBari, Cupid Parasite, DiaLovers, Itehari, your choice) Remember you favourite game/CD and try to find a person you'd like to meet and be with in real life - it's insanely hard to find someone normal.

I'd say otome games are better to show what not to do, I mean, imagine someone trying to do the infamous "kabe don" to a real girl. Police will be there in five seconds, and it's not even the worst example of what characters are doing, and I like it! Because it's fiction. And it looks good on a screen, but not in reality, so I don't think it's plausible to get dating advice from here. But who knows, there are different people and different situations around the world, maybe it did help somebody.

Also, does it mean that we should get dating advice from galge as well

 

[muunomuu]

It has absolutely nothing to do with reality.
It would be creepy if something like that happened in real life, right?
That kind of thing only works in a beautiful, idealized world.

 

[ninnikuryona]

I mean, imagine someone trying to do the infamous "kabe don" to a real girl. Police will be there in five seconds,

who knows! my classmate performed kabedon on me once and i almost melted into a puddle (she was a girl though if that matters at all)

 

[selinee]

I think it's a bit unrealistic, and I dare say counterintuitive (not sure which word is suitable here) to use otome media as a source for dating tips. The guys are written to cater to us, obviously people can have different preferences so some might hate certain types of guys, but overall they're still written for us - the players - to be attracted to. Using them as the ideal standard is setting yourself up for disappointment. And it can be toxic to your real life relationships if you make comparisons to fictional characters.

A lot of the times, their behavior is driven by the plot and trope as well, so the feedback we get from our interactions with them isn't realistic enough to be applied into irl relationships. The more I consume otome media, the more I learn to recognize the tropes, which makes it harder for me to feel wowed by anything they do. Maybe it's a "me" thing but I can't convince my brain to think "wow I want a boyfriend/husband like this" when playing otome games or listening to otome dramas. Their world is so detached from mine I can't learn anything from them when they don't feel like "actual humans" to my brain.

Dating at the end of the day is just a form of human interaction. To become a decent human being with decent human interaction skills, the best way imo is to learn from reality itself. Go out, touch grass (literally or not literally), meet more people, expand your life experience with other activities and knowledge. I don't want this to sound like a TED talk lmao but I believe that's how it works.

Also, does it mean that we should get dating advice from galge as well

I thought about this aaaand if a guy told me he got dating tips from galge (especially considering the large number of 18+ ones...) I'd hope he picks a different route because, me and him, we're not getting a happy ending

 

[imonusi]

I've never met an attractive man like a character in the real world where wonderful events happen like in games and drama CDs Unfortunately... I'm very sorry...

But I'm not a girl like a heroine who is small, cute, delicate, dedicated, and hardworking, and loved by all men, so I can't help it lol

However, the touching story in the story and the wonderful behavior of the characters who touched my heart remain in me, so I think I'm influenced in that sense, and I'm also learning actions that I shouldn't do!

In a broad sense, he may have grasped the hang of it

It may be a tip for human relationships rather than a love trick

 

[0123456789]

I think that kind of behavior only works because it's a fabricated world, so it's not something I could use as a reference at all.
However, I feel I'm learning that it's better to fully express how much I care.

 

[moçoroca de abacate]

Honestly? No... I find some of the things I see in otome games and manga to be very cliché, silly, and unrealistic; things I know would be impossible in real life.

Men like these fictional characters don't exist; fictional characters and their relationships are created precisely based on what authors know – or research – about women's idealizations and desires regarding the "perfect partner/man". Consequently, the types of relationships and partners portrayed in anime, manga, and books are almost impossible to find in real life.

So, I think it's impossible to get dating or relationship tips – or anything of the sort – from otome games or manga. Fiction is fiction; it is created specifically to allow people to "disconnect" from the real world for a while, relax, and experience things that don't easily happen in real life.

 

[Xykoss]

Guy 1
There was a dude who I was friends for 3 years and I went to his house I was mad at him for something he lied about to my other friend I went to his house tried to argue with him i don't remember the reason I was mad for after that this guy suddenly kabedon me and tried to kiss me of course I pushed him away and punched him in the stomach and his back and his mom saw it and asking what happened I just ran away at his house never seen him again after that

Guy 2
I was friend with him when I was a toddler we shared class multiple times I remember I was at class sitting alone this guy went behind me suddenly hold my hand that using a Ballpen and he was saying romantic lines to me and his friends was behind the door I could obviously see them there were giggling like crazy I was creeped out and i didn't do to this anything to this situation I didn't want to get scolded by the teacher,many years later I was told by someone this guy got a girlfriend I was glad he finally got one and the girl ended up looking like me I was like what the hell

Guy 3 or 4
There was a dude I used to have a crush used for no reason I remember he was my second crush and I acted like a cringe anime girl that goes kya kya and my friend support me and tries to let me and him together this guy look obviously uncomfortable I didn't notice it I don't remember otome stuff I did with him before same with crush number 1 if I could go back in time I would punch myself for all cringy thing I did

Yeah romantic stuff are better in fiction

 

[藍色水珠]

Otome anime, especially those in the 2D genre, often features romantic storylines reminiscent of idol dramas.
For example, a commoner might befriend a wealthy family, or a prince charming might rescue them from misfortune, even solving all their debts and guaranteeing their future. These are rather unrealistic, so I simply enjoy them without bringing them into the real world. My main goal is to have fun and be entertained.

乙女動漫二次元作品,有些戀愛情節就像偶像愛情劇,
例如平民結交豪門一族.或是遭遇不幸時,有白馬王子及時相救,甚至解決全部債務並保障未來生活等等,比較不切實際,所以我都純粹欣賞,不會帶到現實世界,當作是娛樂活動,自己開心最重要.

 

[enren]

mutual effort from both partners

Those would be your keywords.

LIs aren't ideal. They just want to be with the girl.
If the person doesn't want to be with you there's nothing you can do.
You can be an angel incarnate it won't matter.

When 2 people want to be together, they will be.
Even when they're polar opposites and argue all the time.
They won't betray each other. That's it.

 

[orionsbestie]

Kinda yes(?? But more like they helped me know what to avoid ig.

I mean, I feel like I owed my basic understanding of abusive behavioral patterns in relationships when I was younger (definitely shouldn't have been there kinda younger) to being a hardcore diabolik lovers fan lmao. The only guys allowed to yell at me are the handsome fictional ones.

So in a way ig besides the fun fantasies, otome games and CDs can also be like... Case studies on dramatized forms of human behavior that may not appear in your daily life(?). Like sure, you can find out things about yourself and have ideas of what you like through romantic media, but it's not like they're manuals for navigating real human relationships lol

 

[fr4pp3cinn]

Not at all. Considering my tastes, if I did, it would be a problem (not too keen on having an obsessive stalker IRL, you know?) I like the genre because it's strictly fictional. I'm also not into dating, despite loving the romance genre

I think otome can help some players reflect on their tastes (and even that should be done carefully), but it shouldn't be treated as IRL inspiration; you only know the characters for the duration of the game! Every romance story ends when the couple gets together for a reason, but in real life, there'll be all sorts of new experiences after that. Characters are 2-dimensional, but real people will have all sorts of troubles and circumstances that can't fit in a 50h game ;)

I also think it's important to point out that most otoge LIs act only for the MC in these games, prioritizing nothing else. In reality, that would be very worrying!

I grew up on stuff like Flowers in the Attic and Vampire Knight, and read all sorts of "problematic romance" on my early teens, so I've been thinking about my feelings on the matter for a long time ;b

(I've actually met some guys who tried to act like fictional characters (from teen movies and anime...) to impress girls back in high school, and let's just say it was a bit painful to watch that lmao)