Has anyone learned dating tips by listening to otome dramas or reading otome manga?

[uid.fenghuang]

After all, the male leads in otome works usually embody a variety of idealized traits: they're gentle, devoted, understanding, and good at creating surprises.

In real life, people aren't always perfect, nor do they always read your mind perfectly every time.

So when reading otome manga or listening to otome dramas, the best approach isn't to treat them as a guide to romance, but rather as a source of inspiration and guidance.

We can learn from the communication styles, ways of expressing feelings, and the sense of ritual depicted in them, but we also need to accept that real-life relationships require compromise and mutual effort from both partners.

Finally, I'd like to ask everyone:

Have you picked up any little dating tips from reading otome manga or listening to otome dramas?

Or is there an otome character who made you think, "So this is what an ideal relationship looks like"?

 

[ninnikuryona]

nope, my fiction stays strictly fictional. if i exited otome games/cds/manga thinking "wow relationships are so cool i wish there was a man like in this otome content", id just be depressed 247 LOL
though maybe it has something to do with me giving up on romantic relationships altogether. like, i know myself very well, and unfortunately im not even 1/5 as attractive or cute or well-behaved as otome heroines..... ehehe (cries)

if anything, the main thing otome has ever taught me is that you shouldnt expect too much from relationships, as harsh as it sounds. like, basic human decency? thats not an expectation, thats the standard. anything past that though is just a nice bonus. something like that(?)

not entirely sure i understood the question, so id like to hear other people out:"3

 

[satory]

There maybe are an embodiment of every girl's dream kind of characters, but there are just as many hopless guys, (Amnesia, VariBari, Cupid Parasite, DiaLovers, Itehari, your choice) Remember you favourite game/CD and try to find a person you'd like to meet and be with in real life - it's insanely hard to find someone normal.

I'd say otome games are better to show what not to do, I mean, imagine someone trying to do the infamous "kabe don" to a real girl. Police will be there in five seconds, and it's not even the worst example of what characters are doing, and I like it! Because it's fiction. And it looks good on a screen, but not in reality, so I don't think it's plausible to get dating advice from here. But who knows, there are different people and different situations around the world, maybe it did help somebody.

Also, does it mean that we should get dating advice from galge as well

 

[muunomuu]

It has absolutely nothing to do with reality.
It would be creepy if something like that happened in real life, right?
That kind of thing only works in a beautiful, idealized world.

 

[ninnikuryona]

I mean, imagine someone trying to do the infamous "kabe don" to a real girl. Police will be there in five seconds,

who knows! my classmate performed kabedon on me once and i almost melted into a puddle (she was a girl though if that matters at all)

 

[selinee]

I think it's a bit unrealistic, and I dare say counterintuitive (not sure which word is suitable here) to use otome media as a source for dating tips. The guys are written to cater to us, obviously people can have different preferences so some might hate certain types of guys, but overall they're still written for us - the players - to be attracted to. Using them as the ideal standard is setting yourself up for disappointment. And it can be toxic to your real life relationships if you make comparisons to fictional characters.

A lot of the times, their behavior is driven by the plot and trope as well, so the feedback we get from our interactions with them isn't realistic enough to be applied into irl relationships. The more I consume otome media, the more I learn to recognize the tropes, which makes it harder for me to feel wowed by anything they do. Maybe it's a "me" thing but I can't convince my brain to think "wow I want a boyfriend/husband like this" when playing otome games or listening to otome dramas. Their world is so detached from mine I can't learn anything from them when they don't feel like "actual humans" to my brain.

Dating at the end of the day is just a form of human interaction. To become a decent human being with decent human interaction skills, the best way imo is to learn from reality itself. Go out, touch grass (literally or not literally), meet more people, expand your life experience with other activities and knowledge. I don't want this to sound like a TED talk lmao but I believe that's how it works.

Also, does it mean that we should get dating advice from galge as well

I thought about this aaaand if a guy told me he got dating tips from galge (especially considering the large number of 18+ ones...) I'd hope he picks a different route because, me and him, we're not getting a happy ending