TW: Why are age gap otomes between an adult and a minor common?

[plipplopcountess]

TW Grooming

My most recent otome game I played was Days of Memories: His and My Hot Summer. One of two SNK KoF otome games. And I just can't wrap my head around drastic age gaps between adults and minors. I played Terry Bogard's route first, since he was the only character I was interested in pursuing because I was morbidly curious on how they would execute his route. And yup, it was exactly as I feared, a 35 year old man gets with a 16/17 year old girl. I spent the entire route giggling like an idiot and grimacing because of how absurd the whole thing was.

I just want to know why minor x adult pairings are so common in otome games. I am able to separate reality from fiction, and I also understand the fact everyone has different preferences, but even me who enjoys a good age gap (between adults) can be rather uncomfortable at times. For stuff like this and in Nightshade I am able to pretend she is of age, but I will just straight up drop an otome if the protag is a child and the LI are adults.

I just want your guys/girls/non-binary lads' opinion and I want to try and understand.

Edit: Thanks for the perspectives. I think I understand it a bit more. It will never be my cup of tea, but the cultural differences between western culture and Japanese culture were enlightening.

 

[orionsbestie]

My guess is... Just because. (???)

There is merit to the idea that fiction affects reality/people's behavior (not 1:1, but it really does), but... It's still fiction, and it's riddled with tropes that appeal to different people for different reasons. Like personally, I'm sometimes uncomfortable by some of these age gaps too lol but in my specific case it's the ones in modern settings— even the hakuoki SSL teacher AU guys make me squint and go,,, ok imma pretend I'm not seeing this for a second, but it's a trope at the end of the day.

If we consider the idea that the main target audience of otome are younger women in their teens and early twenties, a fantasy that's common is that of the older, mature and (often I believe) responsible man taking interest and caring for you, because you're just that special

lmao think of it this way, I think that's how these things can be more easily understood. The heroine is the player's avatar, and the player goes to an otome game for a romantic fantasy. A relationship with a mature, competent man who likely has his life together while you, target audience in the younger side projecting onto the main character role (even if you don't selfinsert, like I said, fiction affects reality and human behavior to certain degrees and audiences are drawn to *interactive first person romance* for a reason...) possibly don't have it a sorted out sounds like it would tick all the boxes for some people.

Of course, there could be some debate about why it's specifically this type of relationship being prevalent in some female-oriented media and that would also be worth thinking about, but I feel like it's not *that* deep in this particular context. Whoever wrote the teacher routes in the tokimemo gs games or the teacher roles for half the shinsengumi cast in SSL probably didn't have some secret evil agenda beyond ticking off the teacher trope off the bucket list, for example. The same people surely expect the audience to have the brains to know dating a teacher as a student is just... Not okay. And if they don't knowx games are not educational sources and, while they could double as such in specific cases, the medium as a whole shouldn't be expected to turn into civics lessons just because the actual educational sources and support systems for impressionable (young and otherwise) audiences are failing to guide and protect them.

I believe more recent big name games don't have these gaps though? The last I remember is Benkei in Birushana, but I hardly blink at that considering the context (and that I like bro, his route made me swoon more than I expected ngl) and that we're also voluntarily throwing ourselves to war at the same time that's going on. Still, it's fine if you feel uncomfortable, we all have different perspectives and sensitivities. It's also fine to question the media we consume with a critical eye, so this type of question is fun to think about too.

 

[plipplopcountess]

My guess is... Just because. (???)

There is merit to the idea that fiction affects reality/people's behavior (not 1:1, but it really does), but... It's still fiction, and it's riddled with tropes that appeal to different people for different reasons. Like personally, I'm sometimes uncomfortable by some of these age gaps too lol but in my specific case it's the ones in modern settings— even the hakuoki SSL teacher AU guys make me squint and go,,, ok imma pretend I'm not seeing this for a second, but it's a trope at the end of the day.

If we consider the idea that the main target audience of otome are younger women in their teens and early twenties, a fantasy that's common is that of the older, mature and (often I believe) responsible man taking interest and caring for you, because you're just that special

lmao think of it this way, I think that's how these things can be more easily understood. The heroine is the player's avatar, and the player goes to an otome game for a romantic fantasy. A relationship with a mature, competent man who likely has his life together while you, target audience in the younger side projecting onto the main character role (even if you don't selfinsert, like I said, fiction affects reality and human behavior to certain degrees and audiences are drawn to *interactive first person romance* for a reason...) possibly don't have it a sorted out sounds like it would tick all the boxes for some people.

Of course, there could be some debate about why it's specifically this type of relationship being prevalent in some female-oriented media and that would also be worth thinking about, but I feel like it's not *that* deep in this particular context. Whoever wrote the teacher routes in the tokimemo gs games or the teacher roles for half the shinsengumi cast in SSL probably didn't have some secret evil agenda beyond ticking off the teacher trope off the bucket list, for example. The same people surely expect the audience to have the brains to know dating a teacher as a student is just... Not okay. And if they don't knowx games are not educational sources and, while they could double as such in specific cases, the medium as a whole shouldn't be expected to turn into civics lessons just because the actual educational sources and support systems for impressionable (young and otherwise) audiences are failing to guide and protect them.

I believe more recent big name games don't have these gaps though? The last I remember is Benkei in Birushana, but I hardly blink at that considering the context (and that I like bro, his route made me swoon more than I expected ngl) and that we're also voluntarily throwing ourselves to war at the same time that's going on. Still, it's fine if you feel uncomfortable, we all have different perspectives and sensitivities. It's also fine to question the media we consume with a critical eye, so this type of question is fun to think about too.

You bring up some great points on the fantasy of the more mature love interest. I do tend to play in a more third person perspective and treat the protags like their own person, but putting myself in the mindset of a self-insert, the gaps makes more sense.

 

[b3rryb3rry]

I mean it's not really an otome-specific issue, I would argue it's a lot worse in male-targeted media. But yeah it's prevalent in a lot of Japanese media (games, anime, manga etc.)

 

[satory]

Why wouldn't it be common? Creators need to reach to as many people as possible, that's why they have different popular tropes. We have tsunderes, yanderes, childhood friends, many others and age-gapes as well, because it sells. When it would stop selling, they'll find different things to interest readers.

I'm not a fan of several popular tropes, but as long as there are people who like them, they have the reason to exist, I guess

 

[nerim-w]

I think younger women love the idea of an older, mature man being in love with them. I mean, not to be that person, but we live in a patriarchal society lol. Women were socially conditioned to desire men who could protect them, i.e. who were older, taller, and muscular because these were all seen as traditionally masculine traits. And when fiction exists, you can exaggerate these traits even more - make him really tall, refrigerator build, and MUCH older than you

I cant say im a fan of such stories lmaoo, sorry but my teenage years are behind me and id much rather like a relationship that challenges traditional gender roles. No hate to people who necessarily enjoy that because im sure we all have brains to know that those age gaps arent acceptable or desired in real life.

 

[RedLipsSourApples]

Young protagonists seem to be a common trend among japanese fiction. I heard it has something to do with escapism? and an older demographic wanting to revisit their younger days? idk I heavily dislike the trope and I hate that most mcs are significantly younger than most of the LIs

 

[ninnikuryona]

because its exciting!!!!! young girls crush on older men/women all the time, and since fiction cannot harm people in that way, its a good outlet for some of those fantasies. besides, the inner conflict of an older person crushing on a younger person, the guilt, the inability to get over it, the temptation, all this fluff, is very delicious!!!!!! also yeah, it can work as your perfect fantasy, aka an older, more experienced partner taking care of you and your whims for free haha

its not like you HAVE to like every single trope in fiction. its totally cool to have your personal tastes and opinions and such! after all, the best thing about fiction is that if you feel uncomfortable/boring/sick/etc, you can just close the book, turn off the tv, walk away from a computer, and find stuff that you actually love:D thankfully there are tons of games with no age gaps out there^^

 

[heishoumao]

I guess it's mostly because a lot of old otomes were marketed to a teen-girl audience, right? And who didn't want to make out with a teacher or two back then? It's not as if those girls don't know "a man dating a teenage girl is wrong", but they can't help that they're attracted to them anyway - so an otome where "you can really date a hot teacher, and this time nothing is wrong with it (because it's fake)" should have a lot of appeal to them

I do dislike it, though, when something constantly tries to justify the age gap. I'd rather the 30-something year old man just date the 17 year old MC; It makes it uncomfortable when the narrative keeps asserting that this is fine because of some arbitrary reason

 

[luvsubaru]

I didn't have a problem with it before, but these days... I don't know. I don't think it's for me anymore, and that's fine, because it started to really bother me. Since my job requires me to spend a lot of time online, I frequently see men being disgusting—talking about how women over 18 are "expired" (and this kind of comment is even worse in my country, given that the age of consent is already low and there are men who want to lower it even further).

So, I've developed a real aversion to that otome trope. It reminds me too much of those gross men in real life, and I'd rather not deal with that in something that's supposed to be my leisure time. Sorry if this came across as "too woke."

 

[haiane]

I feel you sister, I don't enjoy this trope too. When I read such a story, I try to think of it purely as an artistic expression. Despite my reluctance, I can think of a few reasons why this is common.

There's that forbidden fruit trope. The more something is a taboo or out of reach, the more attractive and exciting it gets.

It's also no secret that girls mature earlier thay boys, so when teenage girls don't get the desired response from their peers, well, they try to look somewhere else. A lot of IRL men also have that terribly unfair advantage, that they look better in their 30s/40s than in their teens or 20s. Many teenage girls, especially those who are more sub, surely view them as someone, who can provide a sense of security for them. They've got a job, money, status, experience, all the things that make a man a good candidate for nesting. It's a kind of a deeply ingrained natural instinct, which can backfire easily these days.

And this is just my personal theory (if you're a sensitive person, please don't read it): Publishers push this trope for their own personal reasons. Even if it's just 1 delusional girl out of 1000, it's still one more to prey upon and the more they try to promote and normalize it, the more will follow. A lot of older men have troubles resisting the young flesh. Just look at all those male celebs having a x th wife that's 20 years younger than themselves as a norm, and the society now generally accepts it with "Oh, what a lucky guy!".

 

[0123456789]

I believe that when the person in question possesses status, fame, or wealth, the story would not hold together unless that individual possessed a certain degree of maturity.
I understand that it's just one type of scenario, so I don't particularly like or dislike it, but as I get older, I do find myself thinking, "That's just unbelievable—it's actually pretty gross."

 

[enren]

How else can you blur the lines and normalize grooming as ok?
With "fiction" and "tropes".

 

[Dhshdy]

Idk i think its mostly because of the age of consent in japan which used to be at 13 ehich is just crazyyyy but was changed to 16 in 2023 i think which is still kinda weird.
Also dont really agree with alot of the comments here think showcasing "art" through pedofilia is just plain weird and unnecessary

 

[plipplopcountess]

Idk i think its mostly because of the age of consent in japan which used to be at 13 ehich is just crazyyyy but was changed to 16 in 2023 i think which is still kinda weird.
Also dont really agree with alot of the comments here think showcasing "art" through pedofilia is just plain weird and unnecessary

That was also a common misconception. That was the age of consent for RELATIONSHIPS, not the hanky panky. Every providence was different. And even still, age of consent being younger than age of adulthood is to protect an 18 year old for being active with a 17 year old or someone else of similar age, not for older people to take advantage of younger people.

 

[Teylin]

I absolutely agree, it looks weird. I just find it uncomfortable to see an underage girl and an older man together in otome.
But I suppose it's just one of those "character types." Many otome feature both a "younger guy" and an "older guy" types.
In newer otome, a large age difference is less common than in older ones. I think the developers realize that what was once the norm is now inappropriate.
Also... The most insane age gap I've seen was in Nise no Chigiri. The heroine is 16 years old, by the way.

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