Just saw this topic and wanted to vent here. If it's not appropriate, please let me know and I'll delete it:
I really envy how friendly everyone here is

. I'm Chinese, and if you were to bring up this question in a Chinese otome game community, the replies would definitely turn into a battlefield. They wouldn't tolerate players who treat the heroine as an independent character in the game. If you dare to say that, they'll insult you, and they'll even pressure the game developers to say they don't welcome such players. If the developers don't comply, they'll be insulted too. They'll also discourage other players from trying the game, insult the heroine, saying she's just a shell for them to enter the game, a "camera" with no soul of her own, and that the male leads love the real-life version of themselves. They treat the heroine as a third party interfering in their relationship, claiming that otome games with heroines who have their own personalities aren't real otome games. (The above situation is most severe in Chinese mobile otome game communities.) That's why I usually don't dare to speak up in Chinese otome game communities. They don't think they're wrong, so I can only complain about their behavior privately with friends.

By the way, I switch between identifying as an "immersion player" and an "onlooker." If the heroine happens to share my thoughts in a certain storyline, I temporarily immerse myself in her. Normally, though, I treat her as an independent character and follow the story from a third-person perspective.
I'm really glad there's a place where we can freely discuss these topics!
(Used a machine for translation I hope I've expressed myself clearly._:(´□`」 ∠):_)