Is this Line Grammatically Correct?

[Murakumo]

Is this Japanese line grammatically correct?

これが到着しなかったパッケージについてです。
"Kore ga tōchaku shinakatta pakkēji ni tsuitedesu."
[This is about a package that failed to arrive]

 

[kero-kero]

That's correct but a bit unnatural.

This is what I would say:

Amazonから住所不明で配達出来無いとのメールが来ました。
"AMAZON kara Jūsho Fumei de Haitatsu Dekinai tono MAIL ga Kimashita."
[I received Amazon e-mail message that you couldn't deliver the goods because of address unknown.]

Probably you will be asked "tracking number", "correct address", and "possible date and time to receive".

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BTW, will you call "ヤマトお客様受付コール (0120-01-9625)"?
Kuronekoyamato has the number for inquiries in English : 0120-17-9625.
(Business Hours : 9 am - 6 pm, not 8 am - 9 pm as the inquiries in Japanese.)

 

[Murakumo]

You saved me again Q_Q. I had no idea about that English inquiries.