What's a red flag you can forgive in a fictional character but would never tolerate in real life?

[Moonblink]

Being very possessive/jealous/morally grey or black even lol!

 

[Xech]

I LOVE dark themes so basically anything goes for me in fiction. Anything barely problematic irl it's a big no-no for me.

 

[RedLipsSourApples]

Like all of them? lmfaoo. I love Scien but if he was real I wouldn't touch him even with a 20 feet pole

 

[O0O093]

I love dark ships where mentally ill or problematic characters obssessed with each others and destroying themselves in fiction but I wouldn't really support this kind relationships in real life

 

[Ringsha]

I really like melodramatic love stories with deeply flawed and even villainous characters in fiction. But IRL it's almost the opposite - I refuse to deal with any kind of bad behavior. So I guess fictional characters I like are completely different from real people I like - in a good way.

 

[Sphyixz]

Obsessiveness, stalking... all of that. In fiction? I'll eat it up. Give me the unhinged, obsessive LI who's been secretly following the MC for months.

In real life? Absolutely not. I'd be looking up restraining orders instead.

 

[heishoumao]

Misogyny, 100%- I can forgive, for example, a Diabolik Lovers character saying disparaging things to women, whereas IRL i get quite angry about misogyny.

Yandereisms fall into this as well - I like seeing how a male love interest can abuse their privilege as a man to keep the object of his affections underneath his thumb.

For example, I was super into... Conrad.... from EIT... (controversial, I'm aware) but IRL i'd probably rather die than even be /near/ a man like him. But as a character, he's wonderful - an interesting narrative device AND an interesting character.

And he's attractive, of course, in a way only 2D men can be ...

 

[Mitsurugi]

In fiction I can forgive the characters who cheat, but in real life I would never be able to.
Like not even if or buts or explanations can even change my mind.

 

[enren]

Being hurt in any shape or form.

 

[ryuntsai]

Menhera types... For example:

• Constantly thinking negatively about himself.
• Assuming the worst even when things are going well.
• Seeking reassurance (though often indirectly).
• Dramatic self-deprecating comments.
• Letting small setbacks spiral into huge emotional reactions.

Not that I cannot tolerate but It's kind of worrisome? You may feel like you're constantly comforting, reassuring, or calming the other person, and eventually you would be emotional exhausted.

Also, everything toxic is a red flag to me.

 

[thetigerlily]

Not being able to communicate properly and being overprotective

 

[kokonefuwas]

Def extreme possessiveness since they'll control you as a person, and it just reminds me of a bad past experience.

 

[Xykoss]

Being a man and tsundere,I could only forgive tsundere for their hurtful words in fiction but if there real I think there a red flag in my opinion

 

[Yara010]

I think everything you can classify as redflag

 

[lambdadelta]

pretty much almost anything, as long as the writing itself captivates me! i love to read about unhealthy relationships, especially if both parties are equally complex and cause harm to each other... so possessiveness, toxicity, insecurity, concerning overstepping of boundaries... all fair game to me lol. to me a character never needs to be flawless or do the right things, they just have to be interesting and i'll be seated o7

 

[Erille]

Obsessiveness, stalking... all of that. In fiction? I'll eat it up. Give me the unhinged, obsessive LI who's been secretly following the MC for months.

In real life? Absolutely not. I'd be looking up restraining orders instead.

I also think so. I can tolerate reading or watching yandere type or LI stalking MC in fiction, but real life is very different. The first time I Will do when I see the signs is to run away as far as I can.

 

[VoltageIncEnthusiast]

I've officially retired from reality, fictional men only for me! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Here here!

For me, it's being emotionally reserved or having a hard time expressing their feelings. In fiction, I love watching characters slowly learn to open up because it makes both their character development and the romance feel much more rewarding. In real life, though, I don't think I could be with someone who struggles to communicate or constantly keeps an emotional wall between us. In a story, I get to understand their thoughts and why they act that way, but in reality, that kind of uncertainty would be much harder to deal with.
​

Well said, it would get tiring really quickly. Similarly, I can't handle nonchalance or aloofness anymore. I like people who can enthusiastically express interest. It's easy to forgive in fiction because usually we can see from the character's perspective that they are excited/want to be with their partner/MC, but irl, if I can't tell/if it's not obvious, then it's not worth pursuing.

 

[BiscuitB]

I've officially retired from reality, fictional men only for me! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

The only D I want is 2D, it's what I've always said.

For me it would be jealous character and controlling, like I don't mind a little jealously but, like get a life if your gonna get jealous over me talking to a friend. That or passive men, in the sense like a bunny type or dog type character,

 

[vsjidjn]

1) The yandere personality type.

I (usually) enjoy yanderes in fiction/fantasy--unless they, like, actually murder another character for talking to me or anything along those lines, which is a bit too much--because it's thrilling when I know it's not real. It feels good to imagine myself being loved and wanted so intensely by someone. But like many of you have mentioned, I reckon hardly anyone in RL would welcome the affection of some maniacal dude with stalking tendencies, obsessive behaviour, delusional thoughts, and 1000 secretly-taken photos of you on his room walls. HOT if it's fake; ROT (in jail) if it's real.

2) Rapey characters. Actually, just forced sex in general, for obvious reasons. Especially when they try to justify it or somehow make it your fault.

I guess this is somewhat related to #1, since a lot of yandere characters are rapey. But as many of you know, all kinds of love interests, no matter the personality type, can turn rapey, too. Fictional non-con/dub-con is just extremely common and super popular in otome content. Such stories admittedly often have some form of appeal to me to varying extents, because I get to feel like I'm so irresistable I make a man lose control, haha. But of course that's obviously sickening and a crime in RL, not to mention the things the characters sometimes say that might be a turn on in fiction and yet would be majorly disgusting and deplorable in RL. Example: "Yeah I'm forcing myself on you, but also not really, since I know you secretly want it. So it's a RABU-RABU REIPU. ♡" Again, HOT if fake and ROT if real.

3) Too much dirty/descriptive talk.

"YES YOUR LEWD PINK HOLE LOVES MY THICK, RED, VEINY OCH*NPO RIGHT?"

Yeah... just... I think I would burst out laughing in real life. Some things truly only work in fiction.

4) Cheating

I'm okay with cheating in fictional content if there's actually a justifiable reason behind it, and if the attraction feels inevitable/believable due to the way the story flows/is written. Some common tropes often used: the MC is being neglected by her partner, or her partner is cheating on her in the first place. So here comes the LI to save the heroine from her loneliness and emptiness, haha.

In RL, though, both physical and emotional cheating are red flags for me, no matter the reason. And it's also not something I would do to any partner. If you don't love or desire me anymore, at least respect me enough to tell me you want out.

5) Characters who lack basic life skills (生活能力ゼロ)

You know the kind: the unkempt and/or absent-minded characters. In otome stories, they are often (sometimes struggling) novelists, artists etc. Their room is constantly in a mess. They can't clean, can't cook, can't shave, and can't even take ten seconds to brush their hair. In such scenarios the MC is almost always either their assistant, editor, or childhood friend. And also their work-for-free cleaner, helping them throw away their empty instant ramen bowls and do their laundry. I thrive on cleanliness and tidiness, and I know I would not be able to tolerate being around someone so sloppy in RL.

And we also have the ones who look put-together at first glance, but actually can hardly take care of themselves or do anything properly in general. They constantly need to be babied, drop everything they pick up, and even forget to eat. It's only kind of cute when it's not real, but I'd go mad being around a person like that in RL.

.

But yeah... generally speaking there aren't many things I wouldn't be able to accept in a fictional story, especially when the LI is an ikemen. HAHA. In real life, so many things are a big fat NOPE.

 

[miaumiaumiau]

Literally the whole yandere trope. And tsunderes lmao. In fiction tsunderes are so cute but IRL the moment I realize someone's trying to play hot and cold with me I just become uninterested like who do you think you are

 

[weichen96]

I'm absolutely drawn to mafia characters in fiction—there's such intense, dramatic tension in their complicated moral boundaries, loyalty codes and dangerous, high-stakes lives. But this fascination stays strictly within the realm of storytelling. I would never tolerate or accept real-life organized crime. Fictional mob narratives are romanticized drama; actual mafia brings violence, exploitation and irreversible harm to countless innocent people, which is completely unforgivable.

 

[Iiiiii]

Obsessive and possessive

 

[yumeiki21]

fiction is fiction, so anything goes with exceptions of course. but in real life? nah. immediate cancel.

 

[purplebeetle]

Hmm the biggest red flag would be... being a man, isn't it? HAHAHA jk I actually don't care about relationships at all in real life so I prefer to keep romance in the realm of fiction.

 

[Qroha]

I never had relationship, so it's quite hard question for me.
But i would not consider relationship with playboy type. And obsessive partner would be really hard to live with. Unhealthy jealousy is big no to me. It would mean my partner does not have trust in me