From April 1st, I give my purity and innocence to Checkmate.
Pedobear is simply deeply misunderstood.
Pedobear is an ancient creature that has helped safe guard humanity since its early beginnings, by keeping a watchful eye on our most vulnerable, the children. It's a simple fact that when one is slowly, teasingly disrobing they are at a disadvantage against predators, which is when Pedobear is most needed and where he's often found. Yes, in fact Pedobear loves our pure, innocent children so deeply that Pedobear sometimes goes beyond his sacred duty as protector and moderator and can often be found giving candy or access to the links to the children he loves so deeply. Even going so far to secure their safety Pedobear will invite his young, tight bodied and honored guests into his eternal dwelling, either a van with tinted windows or no windows at all.