- Dec 8, 2012
- 904
- 5
Mizu-chan's Guide to Being a Prostitute
Step 1: Find a nice, dark street corner.
This is where all of the women go to buy a prostitute. Don't go to any nightclubs or anything, because ironically that's where all of the creepy and diseased old men go. Most male prostitutes go to nightclubs for customers, and 99.5% of them are kidnapped and raped by old men and end up contracting diseases. The street corners are safe, because they won't be expecting you to be there. But the sexy women will! Make sure the corners are as dimly lit as possible so that no one knows there is prostitution going on. You'll most likely be arrested if you're caught.
Step 2: Wait for the unmarked, white van.
Contrary to popular belief, unmarked white vans are usually driven by potential customers who are ready to pick you up at said street corner. So, you'll get a free ride and money!
Step 3: When someone presses a napkin to your face, inhale deeply..
It is impolite to not inhale when someone offers their napkin to you. They might begin with a punchline like, "Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?" Don't worry, though. It's usually just an initiation practice to insure that you are serious about offering your services to them.
And after that, you'll be pretty much unconscious. That way, when the customer is doing the dirty to you, you don't have to be awake and remember the more than likely awful ordeal. But you may never wake up again...
Step 1: Find a nice, dark street corner.
This is where all of the women go to buy a prostitute. Don't go to any nightclubs or anything, because ironically that's where all of the creepy and diseased old men go. Most male prostitutes go to nightclubs for customers, and 99.5% of them are kidnapped and raped by old men and end up contracting diseases. The street corners are safe, because they won't be expecting you to be there. But the sexy women will! Make sure the corners are as dimly lit as possible so that no one knows there is prostitution going on. You'll most likely be arrested if you're caught.
Step 2: Wait for the unmarked, white van.
Contrary to popular belief, unmarked white vans are usually driven by potential customers who are ready to pick you up at said street corner. So, you'll get a free ride and money!
Step 3: When someone presses a napkin to your face, inhale deeply..
It is impolite to not inhale when someone offers their napkin to you. They might begin with a punchline like, "Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?" Don't worry, though. It's usually just an initiation practice to insure that you are serious about offering your services to them.
And after that, you'll be pretty much unconscious. That way, when the customer is doing the dirty to you, you don't have to be awake and remember the more than likely awful ordeal. But you may never wake up again...
