I feel like there aren't many otome games that allow character customization... While you can't customize your character in Norn9, it features three different female protagonists, and you can choose who to play as. Also, in Ayakashi Gohan, the protagonist's personality and appearance change depending on your choices early in the game! It's not as deeply customizable as Our Life: Beginnings & Always, but I'd still highly recommend checking them out if you're interested.
Personally, I get into games based on the male leads' designs and the art style. No matter how amazing the story is, if I don't vibe with the illustrations... I just can't get immersed in it.