- Feb 24, 2026
- 585
- 590
In my case, it was Mathis from Virche Evermore. I remember when I was playing Error: Salvation and was still on the common route, even though I sympathized with his more reserved and socially anxious behavior that the game was presenting, I had mixed feelings of wanting and not wanting to do his route at the same time. Not that I didn't like him, but seeing him always depending on Ceres or his butler bothered me because it reminded me of some events in my past. There's a certain part in his route where he kind of panics when he and Ceres are together in a crowd, I think looking for the Boureau or shopping, I don't remember now XD that part bothered me a lot because there were two options, One to hold his hand and another that I don't remember now. I chose the other option because, in my opinion, the right thing to do was to get him used to his surroundings without him relying so heavily on Ceres, because otherwise he wouldn't overcome his social problems.
This part of the game reminded me about an embarrassing event that happened to me a few years ago. When I was in high school, which I used to attended in the afternoon, in the morning I had to go to a kind of preparatory course for young apprentices preparing for their first job. It was quite demanding, so I had to wake up very early since I lived far from the course. My parents were always overprotective of me, so I was always very attached to them and my siblings. I think this contributed to me having a lot of difficulty making friends, since I hardly ever left the house because my parents wouldn't let me. For the first three days, I couldn't go to this preparatory course alone because I always depended on my older brother to take me places. It's always been like that, since kindergarten, elementary school. I've always been very attached to and dependent on my older brother. I even remember that when I was little and was in the kindergarten I used to always cry because, since my brother was older than me, he had to be in another classroom, and I didn't want to be alone with other children I didn't know. So, basically being a shut in that was pampered for years, riding the bus alone without my brother scared me a lot because, besides not having the security I always felt by his side, I also didn't know which stop I had to get off at and I was terrified of getting lost. That's why my older brother was in charge of taking me to the stop where I had to get off. Looking back, I feel terrible because he had to wake up much earlier to do that and then rush to his work so I was even if not intentionally bothering him. On the fourth day, he ended up forgetting his bus pass, so there was no way around it, I had to go alone. I panicked because I didn't know where to get off, and to make matters worse, it was a very rainy day, so since there were many people on the bus, the window fogged up and I couldn't see properly where I had to get off... I almost cried that day, but since I didn't want to be embarrassed so early and bother the others passengers, I remember doing my best to swallow the tears and not let them fall, haha. In the end, I managed to get off at the right stop. By a miracle, in the midst of my panic, I remembered my brother's instructions to get off where there was a drawing of an Indian on one side of the window and a Chevrolet car dealership on the other. I managed to get off at the right stop, thank God, but getting back home was even worse. Generally here where I live, when we see that the bus we want to take is arriving, we usually stretch out our arm as a bus passes so the driver knows we want to get on. Kind of like they do in movies to hail a taxi, you know? That way. The problem was that because I'm very shy, I was embarrassed to do that. My older brother was the one who always gestured for the bus to stop when he was with me... So several buses that I needed to take to get back home passed by from time to time, but being awkward and embarrassed, I didn't gesture for them to stop. I was so late that I must have worried my parents at home because my dad ended up picking me up quite late (the course ended around 2 pm and I stayed at the bus stop until 5pm, i didn't even could arrive at school in time). My dad said my mom was crying at home, thinking something bad had happened to me, and I felt even more terrible for worrying her, because when I got home she really was crying... The next day the course director gave me a lecture in front of everyone because apparently my mom had been so worried that she called the course to say I hadn't returned. I think he thought I had gone to some kind of party or someone's house, because he said I had to go straight home whenever I left. Anyway, that's my level of how socially anxious and awkward I am, it's really embassing both remember that day and to admit this but well, that's how things are ╮(╯_╰)╭
So that scene with Mathis really struck me and reminded me how dependent I am on my brother and my parents just like he was being with Ceres. As i said, I sympathized with him but at the same time, playing as Ceres and being the one that needed to support him it quite didn't sit right to me that the right answer was to hold his hand and also made me feel worse since now i could understand how much I probably bothered my brother and parents by being so dependent on them, even if not intentionally. It's a problem I still face today and I want to overcome it, so I'm forcing me to get out my bubble since the day I saw that scene in the game that made me reflect a lot. Tbh I still have this problem but I think I've improved in some aspects, like now I know how to express myself and I can communicate a little better. Before, I couldn't even pick up packages the mailmen brought and I always let the mailman keep calling (I really feel bad every time that happened, but I really panicked when they called here at home. I used to hide in the bathroom and cover my ears so I wouldn't hear and wait a long time until they left). Nowadays, at least I can go pick up packages and say good morning (although I think they don't hear me since they never say anything back, I guess I have to say I little more louder XD). Anyway, sorry for rambling. It's just that lately I've been reflecting a lot on myself. For you who read everything and got this far, here's a (*˘︶˘*)--♡ and have a great day!
This part of the game reminded me about an embarrassing event that happened to me a few years ago. When I was in high school, which I used to attended in the afternoon, in the morning I had to go to a kind of preparatory course for young apprentices preparing for their first job. It was quite demanding, so I had to wake up very early since I lived far from the course. My parents were always overprotective of me, so I was always very attached to them and my siblings. I think this contributed to me having a lot of difficulty making friends, since I hardly ever left the house because my parents wouldn't let me. For the first three days, I couldn't go to this preparatory course alone because I always depended on my older brother to take me places. It's always been like that, since kindergarten, elementary school. I've always been very attached to and dependent on my older brother. I even remember that when I was little and was in the kindergarten I used to always cry because, since my brother was older than me, he had to be in another classroom, and I didn't want to be alone with other children I didn't know. So, basically being a shut in that was pampered for years, riding the bus alone without my brother scared me a lot because, besides not having the security I always felt by his side, I also didn't know which stop I had to get off at and I was terrified of getting lost. That's why my older brother was in charge of taking me to the stop where I had to get off. Looking back, I feel terrible because he had to wake up much earlier to do that and then rush to his work so I was even if not intentionally bothering him. On the fourth day, he ended up forgetting his bus pass, so there was no way around it, I had to go alone. I panicked because I didn't know where to get off, and to make matters worse, it was a very rainy day, so since there were many people on the bus, the window fogged up and I couldn't see properly where I had to get off... I almost cried that day, but since I didn't want to be embarrassed so early and bother the others passengers, I remember doing my best to swallow the tears and not let them fall, haha. In the end, I managed to get off at the right stop. By a miracle, in the midst of my panic, I remembered my brother's instructions to get off where there was a drawing of an Indian on one side of the window and a Chevrolet car dealership on the other. I managed to get off at the right stop, thank God, but getting back home was even worse. Generally here where I live, when we see that the bus we want to take is arriving, we usually stretch out our arm as a bus passes so the driver knows we want to get on. Kind of like they do in movies to hail a taxi, you know? That way. The problem was that because I'm very shy, I was embarrassed to do that. My older brother was the one who always gestured for the bus to stop when he was with me... So several buses that I needed to take to get back home passed by from time to time, but being awkward and embarrassed, I didn't gesture for them to stop. I was so late that I must have worried my parents at home because my dad ended up picking me up quite late (the course ended around 2 pm and I stayed at the bus stop until 5pm, i didn't even could arrive at school in time). My dad said my mom was crying at home, thinking something bad had happened to me, and I felt even more terrible for worrying her, because when I got home she really was crying... The next day the course director gave me a lecture in front of everyone because apparently my mom had been so worried that she called the course to say I hadn't returned. I think he thought I had gone to some kind of party or someone's house, because he said I had to go straight home whenever I left. Anyway, that's my level of how socially anxious and awkward I am, it's really embassing both remember that day and to admit this but well, that's how things are ╮(╯_╰)╭
So that scene with Mathis really struck me and reminded me how dependent I am on my brother and my parents just like he was being with Ceres. As i said, I sympathized with him but at the same time, playing as Ceres and being the one that needed to support him it quite didn't sit right to me that the right answer was to hold his hand and also made me feel worse since now i could understand how much I probably bothered my brother and parents by being so dependent on them, even if not intentionally. It's a problem I still face today and I want to overcome it, so I'm forcing me to get out my bubble since the day I saw that scene in the game that made me reflect a lot. Tbh I still have this problem but I think I've improved in some aspects, like now I know how to express myself and I can communicate a little better. Before, I couldn't even pick up packages the mailmen brought and I always let the mailman keep calling (I really feel bad every time that happened, but I really panicked when they called here at home. I used to hide in the bathroom and cover my ears so I wouldn't hear and wait a long time until they left). Nowadays, at least I can go pick up packages and say good morning (although I think they don't hear me since they never say anything back, I guess I have to say I little more louder XD). Anyway, sorry for rambling. It's just that lately I've been reflecting a lot on myself. For you who read everything and got this far, here's a (*˘︶˘*)--♡ and have a great day!
