~Love and Relationship~<3 (*･∀･)／♡＼(･∀･*)

[~SnowAngel~]

This is a thread to basically get some well-thought advise or opinion for something related to this topic~
I was planning on covering alot of common stuff, but answering specific things will probably be much more useful.
If something is worth making note of, it'll be indexed here for quick reference.

To start off, I want to know what sort of things You are interested in knowing more about~
So consider these:

first question set:

Spoiler

for people in a relationship:

1. What do you struggle with the most in a relationship?
2. What do you want to prevent in a relationship?
3. What do you want to improve in a relationship?

for singles:


1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why?
2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.)
3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.)
4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective)
5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought).

New things to think about:
1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?


For the people who have Gender-specific questions, I may create another thread depending on how this one goes~
In other words, if you're interested in knowing how/why the opposite gender thinks, I could help you out~

On another note, there are plenty of self-help books out there that can maybe tell you something better than I can. However, there can be some that will be damaging sooo be careful what you pick. The two best ones I know of are "For Men Only" and "For Women Only". Both are about 10-$15 on amazon, tho I can share the women's version if you ask nicely~


Some extra~:

So about relationships . . ./
first-love-first-boyfriend-first-heartbroken-true-story-not-made-up-34335
Do you have kids, want kids, or don't want kids?
sn't it just sad when your close friend falls in love with the one that you like OR the other way?
What are your goals in life?

 

[Will98]

Alright then...

Why do girls always have 50 million purses?

 

[~SnowAngel~]

Alright then...

Why do girls always have 50 million purses?

it varies from girl to girl really~ but the most universal answer is that it makes them feel good about themselves.
Have you ever heard of shopoholic? Often times, women would compare the joy of shopping to how boys play video games or love sports~ (a stereotype, but the idea is how much you enjoy it).

Honestly, lots of girls don't understand why guys play games, but you could say that games to boys is like shopping to girls.

So pretty much, when girls buy something it's commonly because:
1. It makes them feel good about themselves. (for many reasons~)
2. To get noticed or complimented by others.

Also, when girls buy stuff, one thing is never enough. They can have hundreds of clothes and have NOTHING to wear~
Think of it this way: what if you had a game collection similar to a girl having clothes? It's like that~


of course, there are girls that buy things just because they like it, or they need it. Some girls hate shopping with a passion too~


oh btw, every outfit has to "match" soo you'd have a purse that goes with this, shoes that only go with that, etc.

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why? Hmm someone nice and stuff... My crush is quite kawaii >w<
2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.) Ill change if needed... though i cant think of any specifics atm xD Ill assume that anyone i date would be aware of my oddity~
3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.) Education and no idea what else xD Not going to bother with relationships for a while~
4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective) :foreverarone:
5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought). Hmm dont think i want to be in a serious relationship yet... no time to do so...

 

[Kasumi]

Reminds of conversation I had with a friend the other day (this friend and I are both girls). I was telling her how I found it weird that I don't find children to be cute unlike everyone else I knew. Then she told me out of the blue that she doesn't think I'll be the type to get married and I would probably end up single my whole life by my own choice. This surprised me since I actually would like to get married in the future. When I asked her why she thought so, she replied me with a question "Did you have a dream wedding for yourself when you were a little girl?" Well, she got me there - I never did. Is that so weird? oo

I actually never gave much thought as to the details of my marriage plans or what I would look for in a potential husband until i started doing those tag things on Facebook a few years ago. I just always assumed it would be something I would figure out when I got to the bridge. So at the rate I'm going now, I'm going to be single forever? D8

Anyway, I'm just going to do this thing - yeah!


1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why?
Uh-oh. Er... Definitely a guy at the very least. Someone who I can have fun and relaxed with and just be myself around him. Likewise for him, I'd like him to be himself and have fun around me too. There has to be love in the relationship, of course. That's... really all I can think of. Well, bonus if he has a stable income.

2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.)
Gee, what an abstract question. What I'm willing to sacrifice really depends on what it is, how much of it I have to compromise and for what I have to compromise it for. If the guy doesn't share my interest in ACG, it's fine. But if he actually wants me to drop it, then I probably won't be willing to do it. I guess I'd be willing to spend more time with him and less time reading my books. And leave him alone when he's watching football or something (if he's into that sort of stuff) unless it's something really important. I really don't know - it's too abstract of a question.

3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.)
... Well, I'm studying law right now but I wasn't doing it with having a family in mind so... nothing?

4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective)
Never been in a relationship. Not with a living, 3D person anyway. xD

5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought).
Oh, okay. This was unexpected. Erm. I guess it's nice to know that I'll always have someone to turn to when I need them. And I guess I just like to know that I'm loved by someone and that someone cares about me. I feel like I want someone for me to care for too. Like my heart wants someone to love? Okay, that sounded weird. ^^;

 

[~SnowAngel~]

I'll change the questions a bit and add more later~

I tried making these questions open so that they can apply to anyone, but I'll make some much more challenging ones too.
I'll also have some suggestions up for certain answers that I know there will be. So far the responses look promising~

Once this thread gets large enough, I'll link it to a new thread about other stuff~ (personalities, thoughts, differences, etc.)
My goal is simply to get people to think about stuff they usually don't give much thought to~ (I'm a thinker btw :P)
sooo yeah, idk but look forward to it!! ^^

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Hmm thinker~ Anything to do with love is quite far down the path for meh~

 

[~SnowAngel~]

I added some new questions. Really quick I'll try saying a few things for you to think about~ I'm not trying to scar people, I just want them to know the seriousness of being in a relationship :P


1. What kind of life do you dream about having?

I would be a counselor making around $100,000 a year, have 3 children, be very intimate with my spouse, be involved in my children's lives~ I would live more north where it snows, be close to my neighbors, being able to solve marriage issues easily, never yelling, setting the house to be peaceful but fun~ Teaching others what to know rather than what the world tells them. I would have no regrets, no fear of my mistakes or problems as they come. I would be rooted in who I am as a person, and not what others say or think I am. Words would not hurt me, I would share love with those who don't deserve it.


2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?

Of all the things to say, here's a few and why:
1. Communication. Keeping secrets, telling lies, and having bad expectations for another person destroys relationships. The truth should be told no matter how bad it is. If that person loves me, they will understand and value that I am honest.

2. Unconditional love. The biggest breaker is selfishness in a relationship. If I expect someone to make me "feel good" and expect them to give me that, I'm giving them an unfair pressure to deal with. You don't always get the "buzz" in a relationship, you can ask any married couple that. The biggest thing to do is support that person, whether or not they love me back. Even if the relationship ends or goes bad, will I still support that person? By showing them that love, I am saying that the issues now don't matter, how we deal with them don't matter, it's the fact that I want to be with that person for them. We all have our bad spots in unique ways, accepting them is part of marriage. You can't simply base your love for them on thin air either. I can love the person's looks, interests, etc. but what if that person changes? will I still accept that person? If I break, how will I treat that person? Who holds my heart if they can't? If you really want to know the foundation of this, please send me a message.


3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
I've recently had this topic in my psychology class, even in some others. There's alot more to know than just having a kid. Do you know what you can and cannot do while you or someone is pregnant? Do you know the signs and methods of delivering a child? Can you pay a hospital the money if you have one there? (which I heard is about $15,000). Do you know about home births? Do you the pain a women will go through and how long it may last? Do you know the right way to hold a baby?


4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
This is often the toughest question for people, and one that I can provide a good answer for if you ask me directly. This can be thought of as the foundation of who you are, and it will explain how you perceive things in your life. Alot of people say that they find their identity in their friends, spouse, job, etc. They put their worth in something or someone that does not last or gives them a true sense of who they are or should be. Friends pass away, people divorce, terrible things happen and most often the person loses sight of who they are. An answer like "I am me" does not work. Most certainly, you are you because someone who loves you made you that way. I find my identity there, and have been able to open my heart and heal in places because of that.


5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?

I go to friends for insight things only they would know about me, and go to older adults for big life questions like how to prepare for marriage. I know that older people have things worth hearing, even the REALLY old and annoying ones :p When I hear something from a friend about something serious, it's not good enough for me. I need to hear lots of things to consider, not just one way of thinking. By not questioning and seeing why you should take something as your own, you are literally being brainwashed. Also, if you're looking for one person to agree with you, you're not actually looking for advice to follow. I've asked my friends what to do with a relationship breakup, and most of them were saying the same thing. Later on, I found the right answer for myself, and all of them changed their minds. In the end, I am still friends with that person to this day because of that choice.


6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
The biggest thing I lack is real-world experience and apprenticeship. I can do various house work, but not enough to run one yet without actually being made to. I need to learn better recipes, about nutrition, prices, government stuff x_x, mechanices to save money, and of course I have school. That's not the end of it tho. I need to have myself in such a rooted place that I'm able to support my family and not let them have to deal with my problems. If you're a guy and play games, what will you do if your child wants to play? If you're a girl and socialize alot, when will you take time to teach your children? A good way to learn is to help someone babysit, or just watch them babysit.


7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
I know that there are some parts of me I still need to deal with. I can't just sweep them under the bed and hope they won't be seen again. Your children will remind you of those things, and may even have the same experiences. I know I can support my spouse for sure, but I cannot put pressure on them of wanting to be healed from scars. It's okay to let them do that, but it must be out of their desire to love you, not your desire to be loved. :P


8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
I still have alot to learn about children. I could read several books and talk to people as a start, but I'll also need to help out where there will be children. Also, will you be ready to wake up a 4am because the baby is crying? Do you know that spanking is not the only or best way to discipline? You could damage the relationships between you and the child in many ways. You also need to show up in their lives. Music recitals, dance lessons, sports, supporting them in every way without getting anything in return.



I'm also thinking about starting some new topics~ feel free to give some suggestions in advance! :P

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
Hmm... decent job where i would enjoy the work but have free time to do other stuff... not really sure about anything else xD
2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
Hmm trust and understanding~ Those would probably keep the relationship going the longest xD If she left... probably go into some random depression and try to stay friends at least... i doubt she would find me acting any odder than usual~
3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
Hmm i probably dont know enough but i know that itll take tons of money to have a child...
4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
I identify with... being an artist i suppose... if thats gone then i suppose ill just move on... probably wont go too nuts about it though ill try to keep some level of artistic skill...
5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
Hmm i bother friends whenever i have problems xD Ill go to others if needed... but mostly friends...
6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
Nope... no idea how to do most of those... well some idea but i never did anyway xD Ill probably force myself to learn if needed...
7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
Hmm... i think i can support since thats pretty much what i do anyway... at the very least i can try... I probably wont need much emotional support for most situations but i suppose it would be nice if there was...
8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
I suppose i am... but not going to have children until i seem somewhat better off... might ruin three lives if i wasnt ready...

 

[fuyu]

Those questions were really tough(!), but interesting, so I will give them a try.

1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why?
A person who is secure with themselves and who doesn't try to change me. I'm surrounded by people who think I'm not good enough and that I should change, even my ex-boyfriend was like that. So I just want someone who truly likes me for me. And, this might sound a bit weird - I don't know, but I'm also looking for a person who doesn't need me (to live), but who still wants and chooses to be together with me. Does that makes sense? I just never really liked those kind of relationships where they become so dependent on each other that they can't live without the other. A person's life should not depend on another person like that, or maybe it's just me who don't like that. But I've witnessed it in a friend of mine, who literally couldn't live without her boyfriend and tried to kill herself. I don't want that, neither for my future partner nor for me.

2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.)
This might change in the future, but right now, I'm not ready to give up my independence and daily pace and routines. Like, I can't imagine myself moving in with a partner, even if I really like him/her. I'm most content with the thought of living by myself, even if I have a partner, I don't really want to move in with him/her. Right now, at least.

3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.)
Well, I am studying and planning to take higher eduaction eventually, but it's not really with the thoughts of a family in my mind.

4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective)
My previous (and first serious) relationship taught me how to stand up for myself and not let a partner step on me. But I guess that, honestly, I'm still at a stage where it's painful and I'm still not able to look at it with that kind of perspective. I suppose I'm still blinded by all the negative things that led to the break-up.

5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought).
I don't know, to be honest. I don't have an big desire or need to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. But at the same time, if I met someone and it evolved into something more, I wouldn't object to it either.

~

1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
Slow-paced, comfortable, stable, safe.

2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
Love (obviously), trust and respect. And I also want to mention again what I mentioned above. I feel like it's important to be independent of each other, in the sense that we are able to live without each other. We are not together because we feel like we need/have to to be able to live, but because we want to. Therefore, if I'm left by a partner, or if I leave him/her, we will be able to move on and manage on our own. It will be painful, of course, at first, but we will manage. I don't know if all this makes any sense to anyone else, but it does to me, so I'll just leave it at that.

3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
Yes.

4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
I don't really have anything like that, "a will or meaning to live". Frankly, I don't feel like I need it. (I'm sorry if I seem cynical. I've just never really had any deeper thoughts as to why I live, but I'm still here, living, and content with my life. So I don't really think a lot about it or make a big deal out of it.)

5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
A former teacher of mine, simply because we are very close and good friends, I can talk to him about everything. (He is also very intellignet, so I would consider his advices.)

6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
Yes and no. I do know how to take care of a house, but I don't have a job at the moment.

7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
I don't know, I like to believe I am.

8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
I don't really want kids.

 

[Evac]

Hm... This is a topic I never gave much attention to, so it was nice to stop and think about it.
The following answers come from a person who has no experience with relationships, and have never even talked about with others. I'm posting anyway... even if many things may be seen only as pure naiveness.

1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why?
- I would like to find someone with whom I can share my thoughts and feelings, without being afraid to be myself...

2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.)
- Hmm.... That's something I'm unable to tell at the moment. I believe this must be pondered as the relationship advances. I'm quite open minded, and probably wouldn't bother with a few changes as long as I don't lose my identity.

3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.)
- After achieving a M.Sc. degree about two months ago, I'm now working on a big project for a (multi)national energy corporation. It's a comfortable position with good earnings for an entry level, but there's still room for improvement.

4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective)
- Never was in a relationship before, so there's not much I can say about this.

5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought).
- This is indeed an important question... When talking about "relationships" with some people I know, I notice everything comes down to one word: sex. I really hate when they refer to women in a 'pejorative' way, and prefer not to say anything whenever they're talking about this. More than just that, I want to be a relationship to share experiences, knowledge, plans, to love and be loved.

----------

1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
- Living in harmony with my family, seeing my children growing up healthy and give them an excellent education (I would like to have two daughters, by the way. xD), having a stable job -- even my own company, if possible -- with a good income, and never stop studying.
Well, at least I can dream for free, right?

2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
- I would say love and trust at the very least. Love makes you want to dedicate part of your time to your loved one, supporting, protecting or just being by his/her side. If you trust you partner, you believe he/she will want to always move forward with you. I would certainly be sad if my partner left me, but would probably understand something was wrong in our relationship... Still, I don't think the way I treated her would change.

3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
- I have a fair understanding about the responsibilities and risks -- and how important is the medical accompaniment during the whole development. But I consider my knowledge limited and need to study more before I can talk about it...

4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
- My family (especially my youngest brother and sister, who are very close to me) gave and still gives me great moments I could never wish for. Unfortunately, its foundations were always weak, and it's a great pain to see it slowly crumbling over the time, for a number of reasons. Anyway, I know I'll always have them no matter how difficult our situation may be. If they were gone... I would try my best to keep going, but it would take a long, long time to heal the wound.

5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
- Practically no one... Maybe because my parents weren't really prepared to take care of their children. So, while they paid for my education and taught me the "basics" of living (and I'm really thankful for that), I got used to learn most of this life-related stuff by myself, which makes me a very closed person.
In fact, there's a bit more than what I just said, but I don't want to talk about it here.

6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
- I've been living alone/independently for more than three years, so I do know how to take care of myself. I had very little money in the beginning, so learning about how to efficiently control my finances was of utmost importance. The other basic tasks -- cooking and cleaning -- came out smoothly (I'm not a professional in the kitchen, but at least I manage to keep everything clean. xD). As for children... For a long time, I helped my mother to take care of my younger siblings (and still give them many advices, since our 'father' is incapable of doing so), I do not have enough confidence in doing it alone. And I have no idea about how to fix a car... heheh

7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
- I am able to support myself and would certainly do whatever I could to support my spouse.

8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
- At the moment, I'm planning my own future -- work, finances, my own place... I want to set up the "basic infrastructure" before I can make plans for that.

 

[Uninstall]

Hard questions haha thanks for the food of thought my naga appreciate it!! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

I got into a relationship somewhere near the end of summer but it's not really working out right now but I'll make sure it will soon... I know it's ridiculous as heck but I've only been in a "serious" relationship once and that ended pretty badly. My relationships normally last for a few weeks to a few months (o´ﾉωﾉ`o)

SO..
1. What do you struggle with the most in a relationship?
In all honesty it'll be keeping a girl satisfied. I know some guys talk shit for the first few weeks and be jerks for the nextfew but hey, a lot of these dicks just try to talk big just to get it in. Sometimes we'll do stupid things and forgive one an other for it, then we'll hear about it again a few months afterwards in some silly conflict.

2. What do you want to prevent in a relationship?
Fake talk, fake smiles and all that sort of bull that happens in relationships if ya'll catch what I'm saying. Also I want to prevent conflicting (I don't mean lightly conflicting but I'm talking "opposite") opinions, thoughts, lifestyle et cetera. I mean sure it's nice to have a debate with one you love but sometimes it does get out of hand and it can piss you off somewhere inside you. It's kind of hard to have a relationship with one you can't relate yourself to but if that's a sort of relationship one is looking for, then I say go for it

3. What do you want to improve in a relationship?
Trust and respect, I think. I always want to gain a partner's trust and in return I expect the other to wish for my trust as well. I'm putting respect in as well because a lot of cats claim they "love" an other but don't respect them as a person. To be honest I think respect to me is more important than love (I said this to an old girlfriend and she went nuts as I said that). I know it sounds weird but ideally I want a partner be like a combination of mom and a best friend. But then as a girlfriend of course so you can do all that other stuff too.

aaand on to the next set!!

1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
I don't want a life of luxury no matter how cliche that sounds. I mean if I had a life of luxury, okay, I'd live it but it's not an ideal I want right now. I saw the most fucked up things last holiday when I was in Indonesia and I just realised I'm already living in luxury right now, even though I'm living in a tiny appartment with my fam of ma, pa and sis, who just came back from her studies in Japan.

I have a few ambitions and dreams that I really want to achieve. I don't mind sharing them, not trying to sound chivalrous or something but firstly I'll need quite a lot of money for this. So I'm wishing to do my best at school and get a good career that pays well in the future.
I wanna open up a library in a third-world community. I wanna buy a plantation from a greedy motherfcker that pays the workhorses a dollar a day, spare his life as I'll probably be dreaming of hanging the dude as my middlefinger is the last glimpse of the world he'll see, then I'll make sure these guys get paid a fair share for their work. And hope I won't lose money while doing that. I know it sounds ridiculous, I have no knowledge of economics nor political sciences but that's really something I want to do if I live a great life and a great great deal of money in the bank. I mean Tech did this so I don't see why I can't.

For the rest I just wish to live a balanced life of hard work, dedication but also love, respect and fun. Sure I like to rest and chill and procrastinate right now but a balanced person is the kind of person I want to become as I develop as a person. I know it sounds silly, cocky or whatever shit you wanna tell me but sometimes I dream of being a revolutionary-like person, or even a martyr if you wanna put it that way. And no I don't mean waving a gun yelling freedom. I don't mean blowing myself up for a cause (or dying for a cause in that matter). I mean living for a cause. Because I'd rather have a life with a purpose than one that is worthless, and one in which I'll be pretty much forgotten after they put me in a box under the ground. You don't have to be a political activist to be a revolutionary. For all I know a lot of doctors are revolutionaries. A lot of teachers are revolutionaries. A lot of Engineers are revolutionaries. A lot of housewives are revolutionaries. Heck, even an average teenager going through puberty is going through early stages of revolution. So far I admit, I haven't done much but try to stand up against nuclear power back in Japan. Those were good times with No Nukes More Hearts. Great people I've volunteered with, met some dope, aspiring revolutionary emcees and I've undertaken a whole bunch of challenges. I plan on taking a year "off" after I graduate to do volunteer work somewhere. I went to India for two weeks a year ago with a smal group schoolmates and a pair of teachers and built a water well with a local NGO, gave fun little lessons on hygiene (brushing teeth, etc.) and social issues and so on. It was great fun (despite the heavy stomach aches, disturbing sights and nasty smells) and I want to never forget that. Though I really hope those are probably the last kids I'll have to deal with personally haha

Also interesting how people ask this question a lot, but don't think (or ask) about what kind of death one dreams about having. This also goes with a lot of people on patriotism. We talk about dying for our countries but why do we never speak of taking lives for our countries? Also a little rant, hate it when people that say that didn't do shit to "prove" that they are from a certain country or a city. Or the fact that they've nothing to be proud of but the country in which the pussy they fell out of came from. That's not dying for your country. That's being born in a country, or being born from parents from a certain country. For the rest you didn't do shit and the most "hardcore" shit you've ever done for "your" country is shoot a duck with a double barrel shotgun with a fucking laser pointer at point blank range.

2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
I agree with @<b><u><a href="http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/member.php?u=17020" target="_blank">~SnowAngel~</a></u></b> and @<b><u><a href="http://www.anime-sharing.com/forum/member.php?u=12272" target="_blank">fuyu</a></u></b> here and of course what I've said before about love, respect and trust. Relationships, not only with a partner you "love" (so to say), will need a degree of trust. You need to trust your neighbour to have a good relationship between yall. You need to trust your mother to have a good relationship between yall. With trust of others you become respected. With the respect of others you get love from others.

If the person left me now, in this situation.. okay. Well that would suck. I know I kind of seem like a jerk right now but that would actually really really really suck. I know stuff is getting in the way between the two of us but it ain't nothing really personal but it's more because of academic responsibilities that we have. School gets in the way sometimes and when I've got schoolwork to do, I want to be with her. And when I don't, I'm probably tired as heck and a bit worn out so we can't have a great time. So it's not really "consistent" if you catch what I'm saying. Which I think is important too, by the way. Consistency.

3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
Partly, because I am not good with children at all. At the moment I'm not even thinking of ever ever EVER having kids. I don't hate kids, I just suck at dealing with them. So just imagine me raising one (●´・ｘ・)
Sometimes I feel sorry for my parents cause they had to deal with two pain-in-the-ass kids haha (*pq´∀｀)

4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
That is actually a really really really good question that got me thinking for a bit. Seeing mom and dad working hard is one thing that makes me want to live to become a man with a name. And mom and dad are both almost 60 and work 9-5 every day of the week. I don't know what would happen if I lost them. I'd be lost too, perhaps. Or perhaps it'll be my motivation. I don't know, man.

Another thing I like to think I live for are my dreams and ambitions. I know I ain't gonna achieve that magically by itself so I've gotta work hard for em.

5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
I never ever have talked to my parents for life advice (they have lectured me on a whole bunch of stuff though). But perhaps I'll go to my girl (or rather, my lady. Getting older now!!) or one of my friends. Chances are low I'll ever consult with a professional because even though they have all those titles and fancy letters before their names, I feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts with friends rather than a professional who gets paid to hear out my problems.

6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
Cleaning.. Well yeah I do clean often mainly because mom tells me to as I spend most hours at home compared to the rest of the family but it's not like I enjoy doing it. So basically if I have to, I'll do. Cooking I like to do as well, not the best cook but good enough to satisfy my own stomach. For the rest I'm probably terrible, give me a break man I'm on my last year of school. Haha (*´ω｀)

BTW unless I ever plan to have kids I probably don't want to have a car (or at least drive one) because it looks like an incredibly stressful thing here in the Netherlands because of all the extra roads for bicycles, motorbikes and complex road rules. I own a scooter myself but barely use it. I cycle around instead or use public transport (though I hate public transport). Mainly cycle to keep myself in shape, though I do admit I hate cycling too. I guess I just like to walk or stay at home (*´∇｀)ﾉ　

7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
When it comes to emotional stuff I'm absolutely terrible. I have times I don't understand myself and I feel like a 13 year old boy and there are times when one would talk to me about their feelings and I don't know what the heck I'm meant to do and I'm sitting there looking as if I don't give a damn.

8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
hahahah I think you know the answer to this ヾ( o´∀)ﾂ

---

I just read this over and realised how much I cussed. Very sorry for this, I cuss way too much sometimes!!

Also I may come across as a dick/jerk sometimes sooo yeah..

My lady is a very respectable female individual whom I like.
She's pretty too, by the way. My lady>yours. fuck what y'all thought

Also, here's a super cute but depressing song

 

[burn22]

1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
Simple life! Just go with the flow. If you have it, is yours. If not, take it as it is and try harder! Yet, always be happy with no worries!

2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
Accept them as who they are. Love! Trust! Honesty! Understanding! Communication! Compromise! Commitment! Sharing!
If the person leave you? Be happy and continue with life. They have a choice to choose. It is their life, and they have their right. We have to accept what may come.

3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (This will be a new thread sometime~)
Responsibility is very high. The loser will always be on the gal side. Guys can just walk off without a second thought if you meet one of those so call “asshole” that have only one thing in mind. It is better to have an abortion when one is not ready. For the young ones, especially gals, be independent, and never rely too much on their life partner. As life goes past thru, things may change, and may not. If relationship has all the above (No.2), maybe it will last, but no guarantee. Some do change when seeing something new and better!

4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
“Love”! Grow old together and always be happy! If gone during relationship or in marriage, accept it and let it go! This is not fated, but more to understanding the reasons… different character, money, lifestyle, communicating, no understanding with each other, no compromising, and so on. Sometime, it is more to selfish reason, always about me, oneself!

5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
Search for urself from the start till the end! Be open and look oneself in the mirror before pointing finger!

6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
Paying job? Just a commercial designer with few clienteles!

7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
That’s part of responsibility when both are together. To be able or not, both need to know each other well first before seriously going into marriage. The reason, why they wanna tie the knot? “Love” or “Security”? There will always be good and bad times as years past thru. Can one accept when bad time comes?

8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
It is a must! It is both responsibilities! Either you are still as a couple or not!

 

[LadyBenihime]

Okay.. Here goes


1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
At this point in my life I just want a life full of family and wonderful experiences and the least amount of stress and regret as possible.

2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship?
In my experience, the most important things in a relationship are; love (the kind of love that makes you willing to put someone else's happiness and well being in front of yours), a willingness to compromise, trust and a bond much like that of a best friend.

3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy?
Of course..

4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
I would rather live than die. Also, I am relied upon and needed. I actually worry (quite a lot) about what would happen to my family if I died.

5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
For some things my mom...

6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
Sure.. I love cooking, I CAN clean, I now know how to make my own estimated tax payments (I'm contracted so I don't have an "employer" and have to pay the full payroll tax myself and make my own payments), I can change a tire.. hell I'm proud to say that I've even changed my own oil ^____^ ... I don't make crap for money though.. oh well.. I do my job well and make enough to survive so I don't mind.

7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
Yes I'm able to support myself emotionally etc and when I need some extra support my husband is there for me. I support my husband more then I ever thought I would support or need to support anyone. He has some pretty severe social anxiety and I do my best to help and support him through it. I honestly don't know what he would do without me.. and I feel like my biggest purpose in life is to love him, take care of him, support him and share my life with him. I know he worries sometimes that he's a burden to me or something.. but I can honestly say that helping him and caring for him makes me happy.

8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
Yes.. but I want my kid to understand working for something you want.. and I know that I just wont be making enough money to give them whatever they want or whatever.. but I think that's better.

 

[burn22]

continue...

for people in a relationship:
1. What do you struggle with the most in a relationship?
Understanding and compromising!

2. What do you want to prevent in a relationship?
Arguments! Suspicious! Affair! Self-centered! Money matter!

3. What do you want to improve in a relationship?
Understanding and work together as a team. Mutual respect!

for singles:
1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why?
Maturity! Be truthful! Openness! Loyalty! Easy going! Honest! Kind-hearted! Confident! Tenderness! Caring! Crazy at time! Funny!
Why? emmm...

2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.)
Learn to know and understand the person you’re with, and so as for the opposite. Thought both have equaled right, yet certain issues need to be compromise. Never try changing a person when they are not you, nor to copy others example. Let them decide their own road. Support and encourage each other to do their best. Each of us is different in our own special. So, accept them as who they are. if one can’t do that, then, let it go!

3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.)
Build a strong foundation!

4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective)
Openness! Truthful! Loyalty! Not to believe much on words spoken out! It is just words that are only nice to be heard. Action speaks louder than words! Seeing one true colors appear after long can be a big surprised and disappointment. Never expected a person you thought you knew deeply are just one of those wearing a masked to look good from the outer side. Yet, one still have their right to make own decision and choices. As ppl say, if it is yours, it’s yours, if not, let it go!

5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought).
Sharing the luv, passion, time, laughter, and grow old together.

 

[kona]

1. What do you struggle with the most in a relationship?
i struggle to be with the one i love being apart most of the time because of work we rarely get to be together making it hard to express and well basically makes it hard for us to "love" each other physically being that she is away over seas alot.
2. What do you want to prevent in a relationship?
fights, mistrust, violent acts
3. What do you want to improve in a relationship?
the amount of time we see each other and i want us to improve our trust in one another she maybe over seas but i have complete faith in my partner doubting her will only hurt myself.

 

[happybeam]

1. What kind of person are you looking for, and why?
For someone who will love me as i am. Somebody who wont play games with my heart. Someone who will forgive me for my mistakes and flaws

2. What are you willing to compromise, or not compromise? (either giving up something about yourself, or maybe that person doesn't fit a part that you were hoping for.)
in Dating, Ofcorse! Im not one to pick and choose normally. However, i already know im going to get married to a japanese person. The only way that can change is if im in japan and i fall in love with a foreigner. And thats okay as long as its love. But we have to say in japan. It may sound obsessive to an outsider but i didnt waste my entire childhood learning japanese for nothing -_-

3. What are you doing to prepare yourself for a family? (ex, finances, education, mentors, planning, etc.)
Nothing.

4. If you've been in a relationship before, what positive things have you learned from that experience? What more can you learn from that relationship? (think deeper with a new perspective)
Yes, i learned i should never date someone if i know there is no way it will work out because we will both end up getting hurt in the end..

5. Why do you want to be in a relationship? (this is a very critical question, and should be given the most thought).
Humans strive for relationships naturally so that our species can continue. Its in our genes.


1. What kind of life do you dream about having?
living in japan and being an english teacher with a femine japanese husband

2. What do you think are the most important things in a relationship? How would you think of that person if they left you?
Trust and companionship or it will never work, if they leave then maybe it wasnt ment to be..

3. Do you know about the responsibility, risks, and things to know about pregnancy? (this will be a new thread sometime~)
In 6th grade when my mom was pregnant i read a whole book 500 page book for woman who are pregnant so i would know how to take care of my sister. I know what to do.

4. What do you place your identity in? That is, what gives you the will or meaning to live? What would you do if that was gone?
Learning japanese is the meaning of life for me, going to japan is my main goal. Anime and Clarinet are just side things that have nothing to do with it

5. Who would you go to for life advice/counseling and why?
Yes, because i need counselling

6. Do you have house skills for an adult life? (cooking, cleaning, doing taxes, child support, car fixing, high paying job, etc.)
Not even remotely.

7. Are you able to support yourself emotionally and in other ways, as well as supporting your spouse?
I have no idea but i sure hope i can

8. Are you preparing to support your children for their needs?
im 100% prepared to support my future half japanese children :)