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    Mugiwara Monkey D. Luffy's Avatar
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    Red face THE NIGHT LIFE OF BRIAN

    Pitch-black witch-black midnight door in Brian’s head,
    Creaking, squeaking
    barrier to life now dead yet being,
    Haunts him, taunts him;
    Upswing downswing pantomimic syllables

    Look behind me
    See what it’s like
    In the dark rooms
    Of the next life

    Strapped-in wrapped-in feeling of his troubled night,
    Fretting, sweating,
    Coffins him, his eyes shut tight still seeing
    bled men, dead men;
    Choral chain-gangs chanting things incredible

    Blue-eyed monsters
    Dark-eyed devils
    Every nation
    Every colour
    Slaughtered fathers
    Gas-drenched mothers
    Death-starved sisters
    Bombed out brothers
    Headless corpses
    Gang-raped women
    Butchered babies
    Once of your life

    Silent violent screams provide the catalyst;
    Rocking, shocking
    'til from dread paralysis he’s freeing.
    Door slammed.
    Still damned.
    Words upon his soul in ink indelible


    Here’s the past and
    Here’s the future
    And the present
    This is your life
    This is your life
    No escaping
    This is your life
    This is your life.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Panda's Avatar
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    Re: THE NIGHT LIFE OF BRIAN

    The title is so misleading. :DD

    For the poem itself--- I thought it was very descriptive. I'm wondering if you made the poem open to interpretation, or if the character is experiencing schizophrenia, nightmares, or anything specific?

    Also, for the first stanza, 5th line:
    "Upswing downswing pantomimic syllables", I'm unsure as to what "syllable" means in this context. It's to my understanding that pantomimes are a way of communication through gesture/facial expressions or historically speaking, a form of comedic or tragic entertainment with the accompaniment of an instrument/singing? Since pantomimes are more gestured in their nature, and syllables are generally vocal, what's the relation between the two?

    I don't think it was intentionally made to be contradictory; I think I know what you were trying to describe, but I'm a little confused.
    Ignore This Signature
    Grammar—the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

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