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  1. #1
    孤独な騎士王 KingArturia's Avatar
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    A character description for my story!

    This is one of the character description from my story, my story compose of the anime characters I like and I revamp it to fit it into my story with a slightly changed personality and pretty much same appearance over all in terms of outlook such as hair colour etc. Also there are real life friends which get fitted into the story and there is interaction between real life and my fantasy, so simply it is pretty much some real life events mixed in with some made up in a parallel world. So if for example let's take my Prom I had when I real life, it will get added later on as an event which is memorable for me. So in short it is like a fairly short fantasy diary of mine

    It consist of over 50 characters I wrote description already, and this one is a real life best friend of mine and he say I've reflected him good enough in the description, so I thought I might share it and to kick off this section Here goes:

    Jay "Jaysus" Rodford - 17 - Jay is the Ranger Commander of Tendo, he is known for his deadly shots as an archer, who trained under one of the Legendary Senshi Emiya "Archer" Shirou. Much like Emiya, Jay also poccess an excellent ability known as "Eagle's Eyes", which can enhance his eye sight to over two kilometer away, but when he's not in combat he wear glasses and have rather awful eye sight. But nonetheless, Jay and Yuri provide a strong defence for Tendo especially Bai-Di Castle. Jay have some rather insane arrow fire rate, on an average he can shoot from abouty sixty five (single fire) and way over hundred and fifty (multi-fire) per minute, luckily he developed wind element later on which can be deadly yet it drains his mana pool heavily to keep up with that insane fire rate. After the introduction of Fairy's Feather, Jay rely his arrows to pin point accuracy rather than mass killing, such as killing enemy commanders before the fight initiate, striking fear into enemy straight away.

    He is also Velean's great friend, most of the time people get invited for a party organised by Velean, he would be first to be invited. It should be noted that Lionol and Jay is usually the announcer and presenter for any big events that happens in Tendo and he was Sean's Best man in his wedding. Jay is average in terms of height and he likes his hair to stay spikey.

    He also excel in medium to close range combat, as he poccess a Legendary Spear known as Oathkeeper - The Charge of Ranger General, which is a spear but can retract to the size of a sword if neccessary, giving him great advantage in both medium and close quarter, but it is unfortunate that no matter how quick the spear retract, it does take at least five seconds to retract and another five seconds to extend, and as mass is not lost, the weight of the retrated spear is just the same as the normal version, making it as heavy as claymore, so it does not provide agility as much as a sword does but it does provide the power of a claymore to counter-balance it. This was later improved by Sean by using "Titanweave" to forge the spear and it reduces the weight even though little power was sacrificed.

    Feel free to comment or just ask me questions, but as I said it is merely just to kick this section going so there will be some activity in this section too.

    P.s. I've added a bit of Physics in there, cookie for those who spot it first ;P!
    Last edited by KingArturia; November 2nd, 2010 at 10:22 PM.

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  2. #2
    I Am Admin, Hear Me Roar! corocoro's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    Sounds a bit overpowered - strong in close, middle and long combat, mass destruction and single combat...
    You also mentioned several other names, which say nothing to me - causing a bit of confusion. :p

    I think character descriptions like that are good as a backdrop to a story for you to use - but for an outsider they make less sense.
    Would be interesting to read the first few chapters of your story.

  3. #3
    孤独な騎士王 KingArturia's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    Haha, I'll post other characters if this section kick off and because most characters are linked it'll make sense

    You'll get a good picture of the story and background with just character description. My first few chapters actually sucks but my special chapters are better, will post them when I got time to type them up

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    天道 Tsubame's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    it would be great if u put the character draft.
    wanted to see, how u draw the chara~ ^^v
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    孤独な騎士王 KingArturia's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    If I can't draw animal how do I suppose to draw people, I'm working on it, might take a very long time before I can do reasonable standard...even then is probably really bad >.<, so you probably expect more words from me than pictures xD

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    天道 Tsubame's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    hahaha lol~
    don't mind, just make a draft first :p
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    孤独な騎士王 KingArturia's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    Thanks for your support Tsubame, will keep you posted when I have updates xD

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  8. #8
    Member torreysmith's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    wow! skills writing of you are so well. how to do it?

  9. #9
    孤独な騎士王 KingArturia's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    Hm...practice, watch more anime and try to have a visual in your mind, you won't get it in first go, I did write like 70+ characters description of those sorts so I had my practice. But a good visual version in your mind makes your picture more vivid, if in doubt, try to act it out for yourself, it sometime helps me too

    Hope that helps

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    Member torreysmith's Avatar
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    Re: A character description for my story!

    well! thank you so much! my teacher told me that i have to practice more ^^. of course, just a way to success,is the practice!but i think it is so difficult!

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