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Thread: [original} Street Queens preview

  1. #1
    WhiteManedQueen kona's Avatar
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    [original} Street Queens preview

    Street Queens

    I am awoken with the soft press of two small hands on my face

    “Mama hey mama it’s time for school!!”

    Ah. I’m woken up by the hands of my 3 year old daughter named Koh as I look at the clock its gleaming.

    “Huh 6:00 koh-chan is Yoh still asleep?”

    Yoh is another one of my kids she is only a year old, ah damnit if I don’t get them to uncle Gai’s daycare I’ll be in some serious trouble. As I awaken in my small single roomed apartment on the ground floor and open up the shades which blocks out our only source of light into the room.

    “Alright Koh get ready im taking you to uncle Gai’s daycare alright”

    As she turns around while walking out the bedrooms door way smiling at me heart filled with joy.

    “Ok mama!”

    i dropped off the kids at my Uncles daycare now it is time for me to get dressed for school, as I reach for my red skirt, buckle up my shirt, I slip on my white coat with the words written “Queen” on it and open the doors 7:30 the front of the entire apartment is filled with girls all lined up perfectly, their heads bowed down low, arms and legs perfectly straight.

    “Good morning madam Shizuka!!”

    Oh I forgot im also a Gang leader my name is Shizuka Ayame leader of the Red Queens.

    A quick preview of a short story im working on! please give any sort of thoughts u may have on this small project i named "PROJECT QUEEN"
    if i get enough positive feedback on this preview i might post the first two chapters im making kinda a short novel series i have some drawings ill post soon!!

    Genre:yuri,slice of life,action,romance,Harem
    progress:chapter 1 and 2 are finished and will continue to write
    Outline A gangster love story with a Gang leader and a Harem that resolves around her and some of her members and a rich yet free spirited girl.
    Last edited by kona; November 2nd, 2012 at 08:53 AM.

  2. #2
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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    Hmm seems interesting xD Your description of the apartment seems a bit forced? Maybe find some other way to sneak it in~ Hmm... school... Is it uni or something? Cuz seems kinda young to have two kids if shes any younger xD
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  4. #3
    WhiteManedQueen kona's Avatar
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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    i want to focus on a high school student tough times ill be literal here its a high school mama and dont say force because i know some high school moms out their with like 6 kids lol i just thought a high school area would seem more likable i mean a high school mother who is also a gang leader seems cool lol

    and yea im going to do some few changes later after i re read the entire first volume with at least 10 chapters in it if i find some flaws ill change them out because i read it out as i type to see if it goes together kinda a habbit but i almost never re-read unless a project like this lol

    she will be 18 and in left behind in high school due to her pregnancies

    but this is wht i need opinions and thoughts thanks for sharing!!
    Last edited by kona; November 2nd, 2012 at 09:04 AM.

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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    Lol didnt say that it was forced but being in school with kids is tough @_@ Hmm the father isnt around for some reason or another? * Ghost Kitty~ thought of durarara when i read the gang part xD Though i didnt watch it yet~

    Hmm sounds quite a bit like meh xD I usually dont reread... though i should xD Only for big projects where i go over the stuff tons...

    So the pregnancies kept her from graduating?

    Np~ Glad to help how i can~
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  6. #5
    WhiteManedQueen kona's Avatar
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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    in some life experiences with some close people a friend of mines was pregnant twice keeping her in high school for 3 years before she hit 19 then she graduated i used her life as a reference because she took care of her kids alone minus the she being a gang leader and the father will be told later when ever i finish doing some adjustments i know being a single mother of 2 is tough but i wanted to make this story realistic and very heart warming with Koh and Yoh since everyone loves babies and the romance between some characters which i will be posting pictures of soon !

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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    Lol ok xD Hmm real life... i guess if thats the basis then the story would also seem more real~ Hmm being a gang leader with kids o.o... Well seems even more troublesome :x But yeah people usually like kids~
    Pictures xD Is it realistic ones?
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    WhiteManedQueen kona's Avatar
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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    kinda like wht u will se in a light novel anime characters in short i dnt have a scanner so ima drop by my cousins or friends house to scan them on and get some friends since i suck at it to help photoshop and make them clean and nice looking lol

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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    Lol ok xD Hmm scanner... i need to find one of those too :/ Pictures arent as great...with my shaky hands and all @_@
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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    i ned more people to read this and give opinions this preview is short and dosnt explain all that but im working on chapters 3-5 now so i can get to the next 5 chapters and get vol 1 over with

  11. #10
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    Re: [original} Street Queens preview

    Will this be published? xD
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