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Thread: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

  1. #11
    Rain Summerfields
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignis View Post
    I'd say that depends on how you deliver. If you interpret the "what pops up in your idle mind" theme not as a vibrant imagination of a utopia, but a reminiscence of painful past experiences that keep coming back to haunt your mind whenever it drifts idly by, I'd say it'd make for an interesting story. If you interpret the "imaginary journey" theme not as a mental construct of a trip to a green prairie with unicorns prancing around, but a look back to the dark past most people would rather bury alongside their personal demons, I'd say you're off to a good start.

    I would, however, recommend against excessive focus on the tragic part of the memoir. For example, if character A in your story had a dark past rife with abuse and suffering, elaborating too much on the hardships A endured can either be disturbing or feel like the writer tries too hard to make A a character to be pitied. It's similar to how some writers spend too many lines extolling the virtues of their Mary Sue/Gary Stu characters.

    Ultimately, though, this is KK's contest and she has the final say on things. I'm just providing assistance here.
    I reckon as a concept, as a whole. anything really dark and twisted would not sit well with readers
    and would be a sure fire acquired taste for most, if not the minority.

    Let's not make it "pitch black" in bleakness.
    but rather you can just make out the surface. if you know what I mean?

    writing a piece and overdoing it is one thing.
    but also if it is underwhelming, the meaning could be lost in the interpretation.

    With me for example, when I write. It's always what the audience wants, rather than myself.
    since they are the ones reading and judging it.

    but to your answer.
    I agree, it would be unwise to make an entry that was
    too depressing or negative, since words alone are powerful,
    but in a group, it can be moving and emotions are felt.

    so yeah. I understand how you feel and what this contest brings
    .I just feel glad to write again after such a hiatus. honestly.

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  4. #12
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by Frankincense View Post
    I am tempted to write a horror story but I'm still not sure how with this theme.
    I don't know what kind of story you have in mind, but I don't think horror is too far a stretch from the theme. Many horror stories start from the premise of something pestering/talking to/getting into/taking over the main character's mind. Also, while not exactly scary, R. L. Stine had a series of Goosebumps books written in a "choose your own adventure" format, which I'd say would sit well with this theme.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rain Summerfields View Post
    Let's not make it "pitch black" in bleakness.
    but rather you can just make out the surface. if you know what I mean?
    [...]
    I agree, it would be unwise to make an entry that was
    too depressing or negative, since words alone are powerful,
    but in a group, it can be moving and emotions are felt.
    Just to clarify: my previous use of the word "disturbing" wasn't intended to designate myself as some sort of a moral arbitrator who'd chide any and all elaborations of a dark past as A Bad Thing that shouldn't be written at all (although, consistent with the contest's rules, it would apply to some extent here). It's just that, from a literary standpoint, it can get to the point where it even feels like the author is, pardon my word, titillating.

    All in all, I'd say it's how you deliver that matters more. I like the clear division between idea and expression: regardless of how good an idea for a storyboard may sound when described, it falls to the writer to be not lacking in expressing it so as to not underachieve. (Similarly, a premise that may sound old and typical can turn out to be quite a good read in the hands of a good storyteller.)

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  6. #13
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    @JaxxBlaxx; Great story~!Thanks for participating~

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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by |♚| KK |♚| View Post
    @JaxxBlaxx; Great story~!Thanks for participating~
    Thanks! I'm open to any critique or suggestion if anyone feels like commenting~
    |♚|KK|♚| likes this.

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  10. #15
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    @JaxxBlaxx; That's a great entry. I like that kind of turn of events. I've only skimmed through it and will read it more carefully later, though one thing that stuck out to me was your abundant use of dashes. :p (I wouldn't venture to say you should've used more commas/semicolons instead, though; it's part of your writing style, after all.)

    With regards to the plot, it kind of struck me as a bit odd that some of the sentences describing the anguish of the people depicted seem to eliminate the possibility of the main character having always been a/the "gate" to begin with. For example, the sentence "We had our basic needs covered back there; we were in neither abundance nor deprival of food, shelter and clothing," seems to imply that the main character was part of the people trying to overcome the "gate"; their peer. I'm not saying this is out of place; after all, it could very well be intentional, in the sense that the main character was part of those people and not always a "gate".

    All in all, it's just an observation. I'm a firm believer in the "death of the author" concept as far as fiction goes, so please don't take this to mean I'm asking you to clarify parts of your story.
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  12. #16
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignis View Post
    @JaxxBlaxx; That's a great entry. I like that kind of turn of events. I've only skimmed through it and will read it more carefully later, though one thing that stuck out to me was your abundant use of dashes. :p (I wouldn't venture to say you should've used more commas/semicolons instead, though; it's part of your writing style, after all.)

    With regards to the plot, it kind of struck me as a bit odd that some of the sentences describing the anguish of the people depicted seem to eliminate the possibility of the main character having always been a/the "gate" to begin with. For example, the sentence "We had our basic needs covered back there; we were in neither abundance nor deprival of food, shelter and clothing," seems to imply that the main character was part of the people trying to overcome the "gate"; their peer. I'm not saying this is out of place; after all, it could very well be intentional, in the sense that the main character was part of those people and not always a "gate".

    All in all, it's just an observation. I'm a firm believer in the "death of the author" concept as far as fiction goes, so please don't take this to mean I'm asking you to clarify parts of your story.
    Thanks for the comment Lol you're right, I actually did use too many dashes this time

    Regarding as to how it seems as if the main character appeared to be part of the people, it is indeed intentional I actually meant for him to be a manifestation of the magic spell to call forth the gate, so he is a "gate" but also some kind of invisible entity that can move separately from the gate. However, he could relate to the others really strongly since he has absorbed all their memories and feelings during his time with them.

    I didn't really explain too much about this since I wanted to leave this interpretation open to the readers. Your view of how he once used to be the others' "peer" is an interesting concept; I'll leave it for you to interpret it as you wish

    "Death of the Author" is one of my favourite tropes to use as well, but this time, since the main character is non-human at the time of narration, he can be said to be alive yet not alive at the same time.

    It's alright; I don't mind clarifying any part if you feel something's lacking. I'll probably go over my story again later or tomorrow to see if I could improve any parts. ^^

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  14. #17
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by JaxxBlaxx View Post
    Regarding as to how it seems as if the main character appeared to be part of the people, it is indeed intentional I actually meant for him to be a manifestation of the magic spell to call forth the gate, so he is a "gate" but also some kind of invisible entity that can move separately from the gate. However, he could relate to the others really strongly since he has absorbed all their memories and feelings during his time with them.

    I didn't really explain too much about this since I wanted to leave this interpretation open to the readers. Your view of how he once used to be the others' "peer" is an interesting concept; I'll leave it for you to interpret it as you wish
    I see. That's definitely a unique take; it's an angle I didn't even come close to thinking of. My interpreting of him as the others' "peer" is because I took the context to suggest that he was some sort of a turncoat; someone who used to be with "us" but now against "us" (or the reverse, depending on the reader's point of view).

    As you said, though, it's best to leave it to each reader how to interpret each part of the story. I have to say you did so pretty well too by not giving names other than vague references to what could be considered specific nouns such as the "gate".

    Looking forward to more entries!
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  16. #18
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Consecutive posting, but whatever! I R ADMIN! * Ignis whips @|♚| KK |♚|; to also blabber on the entries and the contest itself.

    Pingtoryan's entry is probably the most fantasy-like so far. When KK decided on the theme, I was expecting entries to be either bizarre―which don't have to be bad in and of itself, just really wild in the sense that the author interlinks so many things and extends them to unexpected ends like mad sci-fi writers―or RPG-like. I guess the part about the Pingtorians fit that definition (if that even makes sense) to some degree, though I think I have to reread it to entirely grasp it.

    Samyeung's entry, on the other hand, feels the most, er, human? It starts out pretty... normal, compared to the rest, and the characters seem to have solid forms. I mean, I can only infer from the descriptions, but they seem well defined and, errrrr, corporeal. And I really like how you described visual appearances. When KK was presenting her early draft of the contest to me, I suggested the name "weavers of words" because I had in mind things like this―detailed descriptions written with a rich diction, such that the words appear to be beautifully woven. Well done.

    I wanted to ask something not really related to your writing, though:
    Quote Originally Posted by samyeung46 View Post
    Would like to give the award to twinny if this wins..~
    What did you mean by this?
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  18. #19
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by Ignis View Post
    I wanted to ask something not really related to your writing, though:
    What did you mean by this?
    Could I give the award to @Ellenriel;?
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  20. #20
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    Re: WOW #1 - March / April 2016

    Quote Originally Posted by samyeung46 View Post
    Could I give the award to @Ellenriel;?
    Eh, no. I don't know what kind of situation there is between you two (and I won't ask; it's your business), but unfortunately, I must firmly refuse here. Unlike the standard user awards such as most active and the like with somewhat abstract criteria, this and the SOTM bestow awards representing that you've won something. They can go only to the actual winners.

    If Ellenriel wishes, though, they can join in and get the participatory award (which will be given to all participants) regardless of whether they win or not.

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