Hello Again~ renano's Current Whereabouts

[GenKiDan]

@Ruri ; Don't think we ever talked much before, especially since I had a period of going poof as well.

So you got rid of some of those major obstacles hmm...does that mean you finished skyrim ? ;j

[renano]

Another Diary Entry: Forget-Me-Not

I’m not too sure what the correct term is… but there are times in which I block/lock certain memories and they slowly fade. Or if I don’t come into contact with something or someone for a few months, they fade.

During the time I was gone from ASF, I was slowly forgetting about it and lived life as usual.

I mean… I couldn’t even recognize my own father after a few months he was gone on a trip. I said, “Who are you?” when he rang the doorbell. xD :S :x

Events:

- From March to May, I worked with my father and continued on being a caretaker.

- My parents discussed about marriage because by the time I’m 25, they consider that being an “Old Maid”. Asian logic.

- In June, our friends and family found out my aunt is pregnant with her fourth child. (Trust me, she has some regrets.) Also, curse my dreams…

- Started to tutor my little cousins.

- Curse my dreams again. July to September is the absolute worst.

- July = Father wants cheap service to rebuild the driveway

Result = Truck toppled over, almost hit our apartment building (the stair rail is damaged), and caused City Hall to go haywire

- August = Have to wait to get papers signed, wait for people to check/measure our land, water, sewage, all the works to be approved, pay up to an average of $10,000

Why? Because the cheap service my father hired didn’t get a permit and because City Hall is just greedy.

- September = Waiting for the people to rebuild the driveway and waiting for it to dry (made from tar) The whole city has actually been redone so everything smells like tar. =_=

- Had a dream about ASF before my birthday. :3

- October = Currently, I’m helping move stuff for my aunt into her new house and waiting for people to fix the stair rail.

[Dark Angel]

You have been in a lot of trouble...

[samyeung46]

Hmm... 25 really isnt that long of a time considering how you only become "adult" at 18... O.o

Well... locked memories... are we really that scary? xD

I do wonder though... your dreams get better or worse with the months?..~

[renano]

Bleh... let's just say all my friends have children who are around 2-3 years of age or married already.

The memory thing is most likely from past events like friends fighting over me, people befriending me for money, parents and friends think the real me is scary or not normal... and other things that hurt emotionally.

Thus, I created some memory blocking to not let me be emotionally hurt if I don't come in contact within a few months... I think. xD

Hmm... most dreams are bad. Good ones are rare. They don't have a pattern or set date.

The dream about ASF was all of you being there and just having fun as usual... while I cried.

[samyeung46]

Ehh? You were crying? >< * samyeung46 huggles ojou sama...
Still wondering what causes the bad dreams...

Social standards and stuffs?.. But are they even out of uni yet?... Children really mess around with uni and stuff @_@

* samyeung46 huggles ojou sama more... ><
Well... i cant quite connect here as much as i would like... doubt friends would fight over me or... well i did let them borrow money but that was mostly after i got to know them... and my changes were mostly because i disliked how i acted... the dislike influenced by friends later i guess... but it all seems quite minor compared to your experiences...

So you need triggers to remember again..~ It does seem quite troublesome even if it is a self defense mechanism...

[AhGwee]

The age of 25 sounds about right. Asians of my parent's generation usually got married in their early 20s or late teens. I think my mother got married to my father around the age of 20 so she wasn't able to finish her education. This was also the case for a friend of mine's mother too. The expected age of marriage in the UK is around the late 20s and early 30s. (While this applies to men also, albeit not as limited) Women usually do not want to get married as soon as possible because they wish to enjoy their single life as much as possible. Once they tie the knot, they will have to commit their whole life to the family they settle down with: whether it be looking after their children and/or their parents from the groom's side. I say groom since it's an Asian family.

I think I would melt down seeing you getting married, but you would definitely have my full support when you do.

It would hurt me inside to see you cry. :c

[Second_Flight]

OJOuuu Getting MARRied..??
* Second_Flight preparing seppuku...

  Spoiler: my feeling 

mmmmmm.... regret having 4th child... Huhhh,


seems fishyy...

anw this is can be your home.. or it does become your home somewhere in your heart... and when we chat on line its like you gone.. or being kidnapped.. im afraid something worst happen to you.. and you come back here.. i relieve...

we sure will make good memories...

[samyeung46]

Hmm... my parents and relatives dont seem to care or do much about marriage... seems to just leave us to decide on our own @_@ Not much pressure as far as i can tell but maybe im just not there yet...

* samyeung46 helps second finish himself off since he needs to people to do that~ ;p

[renano]

@ Sam

I think I cried because I started to remember the good times we had and that everyone didn't mind too much that I was away for so long.

Causes... I believe the cause is just me trying to balance the 'me for society' and the 'real me'. Repressed feelings and desires?

Some of my friends just became pregnant and didn't manage to enter a university. They would later enter community college.

Others who entered university or worked found 'their significant other' and believe they are the happiest married couple. Some divorced though. Lol~

Very few singles... but even if they are single, they still want a relationship and I don't.

I do need triggers. I'm quite forgetful in everyday things as well, so I tend to write notes to remind myself... and sometimes I forget to write anything. xD

@AhGwee ; @Second_Flight ;

Try not to fear or be too concerned. I'll manage to get out of it somehow.

It's all about communication and understanding. I'm a pretty stubborn person as well. ^^