do you want me to stay in asl?

[~SnowAngel~]

it's really breaking my heart, what I've been going through with everything.. I'm tired of dealing with it myself, so I want to say a little about what I do and ask others what I should do next. I feel like I'm constantly being picked on whether people realize it or not.. I take others' requests often and do my best to bring things to asl that would otherwise never have been found anywhere else. (what they consider "old" albums). I'm thankful for the love and support any member has given me, it's really encouraging :)
I can admit that my craziness can sometimes get on others' nerves, but it really hurts when no one talks like nothing ever happened :(
I know that there were some people looking forward to different things that I promised to bring. (I haven't forgotten about you<3 )
I go between jobs, requests, things I find and things I have. There are just some things that are more important to asl as a group, so those have to come first (explanation for delays). Turns out, there are many many albums stored that I probably can't do all of them by myself. Almost every day I'd be uploading something, organizing music or working on an album. It stretches my character to be with asl, but I never imagined how I would be treated. I mean.. if the same things were said another way, I wouldn't be making this thread right now. I love and am grateful for the other staff that has ever helped me. I know they must have their own struggles as well.

I'm willing to keep trying if there are others who still need me, or who are also thankful for the things I brought to a-s. Honestly, I've never kept any lossless before, never even knew what it was before joining asl. I don't want to be selfish in just leaving, so let me know what you'd rather have me do. I would probably leave completely if I left asl.. For anyone who has a bone to pick with me, I'm truly very sorry and hope we can start over together<3
so I guess.. if you really want to encourage me, just talk about anything music-related that I helped you with. What you liked, what you want more of, anything really x-x

i'm still half and half, divided against myself..
words unspoken are echoed as a canvas of ice
chaliced like a mirror on a stone door
Paralyzing me by mystic lore
No elixir in such a frigid place
nor comfort left to contemplate
Stillness eagerly awaits the void, "what answers thou?"
even the stars would surely tell...

 

[Dark Angel]

In my opinion do whatever you want but don't over doing it. Keep what are you doing but with more easy way don't push your self the request and other uplonding staff can been done a little later ;) The first matter is you and you alone!

 

[thecoins]

Hmm I downloaded lot of things that you've uploaded and recommended at ASL, so if you stop... /me hugs snow

and I ruin the poll... i read the title but not the question.. I can't change my answer, can I?

 

[unownHGSS]

Do what you think is better. You don't have to push yourself ^^
I've downloaded a few of the stuff you've uploaded.

You don't have to rush these kind of stuff imo. Keep 'em coming at your own pace.
No one's gonna blame you if you don't upload every day. (at least I think so)
I know the request will pile up on you but there's no harm in waiting right?

 

[Hinode]

I think that it's all up to you if you want to stay or not. I don't mind having you here at all and it's always good with at least one person who's a bit crazy :3 /me pats Snowwie on the head*

I usually don't download random things, but I've requested some albums. It took you 1 month to upload my latest request, but still. I'm not the person who would complain about time and you also told me that you would upload it after something else.

I'm not that fond of jazz and calm music :/ But I would like you to upload some albums that isn't calm as well. Maybe I just missed them in case you already did that, but still xD

 

[Infamous]

personally, i don't download the music here, but the way i see it is, people who download your uploads should be grateful you've done as much as you've done. you don't need to keep uploading if you don't want to do it anymore, and your personal life is far more important. i do like seeing you around the as forums though

bottom line, do what it is you want to do. if you want to keep uploading, than you should, if you don't want to stay on asl/asf, than don't.

 

[Ignis]

I'm not sure what you sought to accomplish by making this thread.

You have complains about ASL, is that it? I hope you do realise that, you know, the forum members are out of touch with ASL's internal operations. If you're merely seeking consolation, that's fine. However, while it's common practice to tell one-sided stories when seeking consolation, I don't think it's also common practice to do so while making passive-aggressive implications about it in a public place full of people who don't know anything about the matter.

I might've been solely responsible for what you think about the way you're treated, but it's a bit hard to sympathise when what you wrote really looks like a myriad of ad hominem attacks and a bunch of negative implications as to how ASL operates and treats its members. On its very own forum, no less. To be frank, this all has the makings of a passive-aggressive rant since you didn't address any of the problems you implied.

You work hard. You're encouraged by all the love and support given to you. You need ASL, but are disappointed in the way you're treated. You wish people would say things to you in a different manner. That's all implications and references. You probably don't want to air all of your dirty laundry in public (but, you know, just a biiiit of it), but at the same time, I hope you can see that passive-aggressive references do better in making stories even more one-sided. Oh, and let's not even get started on how you didn't talk about this all to us prior to making this thread in public.

Having said all of the above, I'm not convinced that this will be enough consolation to you (especially after a barrage of harsh slaps), but we actually do value you as a member. If we wanted you to leave, we would've just made you leave. I mean, come on, you've been with ASL for a while. You've seen your predecessors come and go. You've seen those who were accepted into and removed from the group. We may have some complaits about the way you behave, but if we really wanted you to leave, why wouldn't we do just that?

You're a hard-working girl, I can see that. Everyone can see that. You've got ample willpower, and it's also in the best interest of ASL to nurture you into a real asset who's always ready and willing to work at a moment's notice. You've got that in you, and it'd be a waste to stifle that passion. No, we're not stupid. However, since you yourself admitted that you do get crazy at times, punitive actions can sometimes take place. A defiant (and deviant) child needs to be spanked.

Since we're not a commercial business entity, we can't cut your salary or anything like that. It always starts with words. Yes, they can and do get harsher as they evolve from a reminder to being punitive. And yes, the tongue is sharper than any sword. But I think that's just how the world works. A team that lets its members do away with repetitive mistakes isn't a healthy team.

If you make a mistake, that's fine. It's absolutely normal and at times inevitable. If you make another one, that's an honest mistake. But if you make yet another one, maybe you should stop for a while and listen to what people are saying around you. Pay more attention and reflect on why and how you made that mistake, and not just how to fix it. Seeking solutions to problems instead of pondering over them and thinking of repercussions is very wise, but if you're totally focused on the thought that you can always fix something when/if/after a mistake has been made, you're unconsciously hard-coding into your brain the concept that you can and should always be forgiven for mistakes.

This has gotten too long, and for that I apologise. I can understand if you don't feel like reading the entirety of this post. As a closing word, however, I'll still say that you'd best talk about this directly to the person(s) you're having trouble with rather than this.

 

[Will98]

Since we're not a commercial business entity, we can't cut your salary or anything like that.

We get paid???

 

[ProXpert]

Okay.. Let me just start with this.. Holy shit.. PPl and their replies took me ages to reach the end of this page! YOU WRITE TO MUCH! Of course im joking.. Anyway..Snow Im sure people out there have enjoyed and loved you posts... So dw if they dnt say anything.. Cause YOU know that they got it from you! Just keep on trying the best you can(to a limit, dont overwork yourself) and aslong that you enjoy what you do its all good.. Theres always that little population that enjoys what you post! Just remember Keep it cool Snow... I dnt want you to melt ;).... OH MY GOD! MY FINGERS HURT! Typed wayyy too much! Keep it short people!

and OFC: Joking

 

[Infamous]

We get paid???

haha i think he meant there's no salary to be cut

 

[Will98]

haha i think he meant there's no salary to be cut

That implied that there was money being generated... :(

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Hmm but wasnt it quite a small amount thats made? xD

Ahh theres a poll now? O.o

Well now that i think of it... i think i can recognize a bit of the irrationality that shes showing now in myself... wasnt too long ago either... though i do believe i was a bit more subtle about it...

 

[WsE]

We get paid???

I get paid.

 

[Will98]

I get paid.

Darn you. Darn you and that troll face :P

 

[Sintarow]

All I can say is try not to let those people get to you.
I haven't been one this site too long, but what I can see is people really do care about you.
Sometimes it's hard to get up when you've been kicked to the ground, but trust me its worth getting back up.
The best thing in life that you can do is prove someone wrong.
So if someone says something nasty then prove them wrong through your work. ^.^
And if some says you let them down and is being a jerk about, odds are he or she is just a jerk... And should be kicked while they're down :P
That's my two cents.
And if you need someone to lend a ear, I'm always available.

 

[Checkmate]

While this thread in the spam section, I appreciate if everyone can keep to the topic and respect the owner.

 

[~SnowAngel~]

I didn't name specific things because I believe in the power of forgiveness and would rather talk to them about it if it was that important to me. I felt overwhelmed by the little things that just added up. It's almost like what I've mentioned a long time ago was completely ignored.. (msg to multiple staff members). I know there's things I need to follow and all, but I would really appreciate it if others would keep their character in check as well. Force isn't needed to be used on me, I'd rather just talk about it and later I would accept. I mean, I'd like to fix my own mistakes as much as I can instead of feeling like a bother to others. I've never used the excuse that it was one of my "days" since I know I do have at least some self-control over my emotions. (lol)
The favoritism I've seen also gets to me.. it's like there's so many things I notice and it would be best not to say anything since they get along well. People mention the same mistakes I've made and act like it's no big deal, but then act like it's the end of the world if I did the same thing. I try to not hold grudges since I'd rather not have others do that with me either ;;
I'm not wanting to have a game of pointing or anything silly, I want people to realize how it made me feel in the end.
It's important for both people to reflect on their actions regardless of everything else. When I used admin action on someone, we talked about it. I learned how I made that person feel and vice versa. It's easy to just think one's own actions are in the right just because of status.

I want to get along with people.. I really do. I just don't want to suffer emotionally as a cost of it. I feel like I can't talk about anything because of a lack of a calm person to talk to :/

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Hmm... people seem fairly calm around here... usually anyway... unless theres a reason not to be calm?

But stay if you want? Some people appreciate it and you should be aware of that~

 

[~SnowAngel~]

i'm still half and half, divided against myself..
words unspoken are echoed as a canvas of ice
chaliced like a mirror on a stone door
Paralyzing me by mystic lore
No elixir in such a frigid place
nor comfort left to contemplate
Stillness eagerly awaits the void, "what answers thou?"
even the stars would surely tell...

 

[Dark Angel]

i'm still half and half, divided against myself..
words unspoken are echoed as a canvas of ice
chaliced like a mirror on a stone door
Paralyzing me by mystic lore
No elixir in such a frigid place
nor comfort left to contemplate
Stillness eagerly awaits the void, "what answers thou?"
even the stars would surely tell...

it sounds too poetry :D

(\(\
(=' :')
(,('')('')

 

[GenKiDan]

I have not voted in this yet btw, just to lay that to rest inb4 any thoughts about it. Even though you would have something against me for no good reason, I don't feel the need to pass votes based on that just so its said and cleared.(so no reason to think I would act out of spite) And I'm not involved in the music around here either... Kinda sounds like from your post though that your unhappy and feel badly treated partly because your not getting enough praise ~?... But thats something you would need to clarify to the readers if they are supposed to be able to cast a serious vote and not simply meant for gathering sympathetic support imo.

It's also a bit ironic to me that you say you want to get along with everybody, based on how you have treated me I must say I find the 'everybody' part of that sentence not so credible. All in all this thread is a bit hard to make sense of in light of it all. In summary, I can't really say I want you too stay based on past experience with you, but I don't have a need or passion for you leaving either. But if I had to pick, lets just say I'd have no real reason to want you to stay if it came down too it.

And since you still have just in a mean way decided to ignore me still without any normal communication, I don't know if you have read my replies, or bothered to read my notices to you about it, I tell you again here where I know you will see it, that I have given a official reply too you on my own profile, dismissing your insinuations. So that irrational feelings can be explained and replaced by the truth of rational logic instead. So now you know, and can check it out at your own leisure.

 

[MadSova]

Grrrrrr... Why do you name thread "Should I stay?" but Poll "Should I leave?"? I accidentally pressed "yeah" >_<

Anyway, Snow, look around, do see even a single person who isn't crazy or weird? The ASF is fun precisely because people like that are here... I rarely downloaded any music here, but I found quite few albums that I searched for that you uploaded. I also talked with you for a bit on different topics and it was fun. Although if I somehow offended you and you think that its something personal, I assure you, I'm like that to everyone ;p
Also, as I always say to anyone, you should do what you really want to do. If you really want to leave, you shouldn't care about anyone trying to stop you and just leave, but if you want to stay you should just stay even if someone here wants you to leave...

 

[moemoe-kyun]

Grrrrrr... Why do you name thread "Should I stay?" but Poll "Should I leave?"? I accidentally pressed "yeah" >_<

Sh**! I just vote yeah in the poll. @~SnowAngel~ troll me T_T.
I...it...it's not like i want you to leave. Just wrong vote.

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Lol hmm i guess the poll is somewhat null then ;p

 

[GenKiDan]

Troll poll lol :P This should be a case study then perhaps, studying how easy it can be to subliminally prep subjects for reacting a certain way for a future action/event.

I'm actually starting to wonder now, if one was to create a troll poll, what would it be ? Sounds like possibly an interesting thread....