Hi...

[Zeliar791]

I have made a few mistakes, it has been a long life, but it seems that I have had the worst bit of frustration. I do not understand who I am, but I have wasted quite a bit of time in regards to my personal security... I did not have the necessary intellect in order to procure my position in society, so I regretfully have condemned myself out of a sense of frustration. I struggle with emotions on a daily basis, these emotions generate a large degree of trauma. I have had a lot of clashes online, and these have unfortunately resulted in me getting abused by large numbers of people. I regret this, but it cannot be helped considering my position... Understand that when you hit your head against a steel wall, it is foolish to expect it to give way. I like the feeling of numbness, and take great delight in other peoples problems. I believe that life is insignificant, and do not believe that one must do anything at all to survive. Communication is a useful tool in order for one to work out their beliefs. Life is unnecessary, the only reason to exist is to not feel pain. There is no reason to do anything else. The only reason why I socialize it to feel better... That is all...

 

[perrypig123]

well hi and welcome =) hope u enjoy your stay and feel better after talking to people here =)

 

[Uninstall]

Deep - feeling you man; what's good, welcome to ASF, hope you feel comfortable here, enjoy~

 

[Zeliar791]

Yeah I hope I will feel comfortable... Having a convo with people on forums is nothing like how they converse in anime. I like the art on this site though. The female art is useful. I am currently playing through some of the muv luvs... I find the characters to be rather appealing to me. I would like that kind of comfort in real life, but most people tend to be very anxious. I tend to prefer darker anime, and games. Falcom games for example are very appealing to my personal values. Ys, Gensousangokushi. Stuff like that. I am now sure of my interests. I like games where character are more personal, and less off putting. I like characters that focus more on relationships. Easy to get along with. I get rather annoyed with games in a relationship. I like things to be stable, and predictable. So I know exactly where they are going. I do not like inconclusions. There are many character that come across as fake, and offputting despite their attractiveness. I have had an unhealthy relationship with them for the past few years. This has caused all kinds of problems online. They are rather noncommittal. It is more useful to get to know people on a personal level, then just talking about hobbies. I do not agree with this. I cannot illustrate myself through my preferences, as it has been difficult to verify them without social support. What I mean is that I have been extremely unsuccessful in communicating with others due to the fact that I keep running into the wrong kinds of people. I find this to be extremely distressing. They do not provide me with insight, and have a habit of making a fool out of me. I find this to be disatisfactorily. It would be more useful if people where more understanding of my feelings instead of trying to provoke me. As a result I have neglected to communicate often with others. It is useful to work off strain instead of wasting time, but I have been struggling excessively with confusion. I nearly had a breakdown a few times as it is, and this is helpful when I am misunderstood. This causes more fear of people, and causes extreme stress. I am only glad that I now know what to expect, but I do not know how to handle online attacks even when I do expect them. This is my problem as of current, and it would be useful if I can put an end to my fear.

 

[Decalcomania]

Welcome to Anime Sharing, Zeliar791.
I hope you feel better after chatting with some of us here on AS.
Don't worry, we don't bite.

 

[renano]

Welcome and enjoy your stay.

If you feel better chatting, playing games, or just lurking around, then go right ahead. Whatever makes you feel like you're whole again.

Stay healthy and please do take care.

 

[Ghost Kitty~]

Welcome to AS Zeliar~
The people here are a nice bunch so im sure you can feel welcome :3

 

[japespszx]

Wohohoho. So you like making essays, my man? xD Just kidding.

Feel free to roam around. And be sure to check the spam section and forum games. :D
And I heard you like Falcom games. HIGH FIVE! I like em too. :P

 

[Zeliar791]

Thanks I will be sure to consider that. I don't even know where to begin, verifying things alone is very difficult. I don't like subjecting myself to new experiences, but lately my nerves have been completely fried. It would seem I have a bad habit of picking fights. I get frustrated when people use titles to distance themselves from me. Of course this is a problem with the existence of such. Expecting non conditional compliance to such... Well you get the picture. It would have been more helpful if they didn't rely on useless indications. This problem means that I cannot communicate without feeling foolish. The climate of a forum will inevitably determine the kind of responses I will receive, certain forums will result in me being attacked regardless of what I post. As a result I have endured the worst sort of humiliation. I really don't know where the source of this lies, but it would be comforting to know that it no longer exists. That's about all there is to it really. I have come to the conclusion that everything is predictable. I feel fine posting on here though. I might think up another topic later if I feel like it, I really do not have much to offer to a discussion. I would also like to note that my forum posts are a bit experimental. Once I get a better feel of the replies...

 

[japespszx]

You know? ... I think you'd really make a good mentor. You talk like you've experienced alot.

ANYWAY, forums posts are not blog posts, sir. If possible try to make them short. :D
But no one's restricting you so... yeah.

 

[Will98]

I don't care how long his posts are, I find his use of punctuation, grammar, and how he phrases his thoughts most refreshing.

 

[japespszx]

Why does nobody finds my proper punctuation and grammar refreshing? >.>
lol

But his phrasing sure is excellent. Excellent I say. If only he's not as problematic as he is now, he would make a good speaker. :)

 

[sunflower]

Welcome To Anime-Sharing . Have fun & good luck :)

 

[alexsdu]

Welcome to ASF, Zeliar.
Have fun in the forum.

 

[Zeliar791]

Well I am hoping that posting here will contribute to my mental healing... The problem is that I am unconscious of my own self it would seem. When I make posts here it further contributes to my development, but I have had a lot of clashes in doing so. Nothing in this world provides for itself, as it is a nonself. I have caused myself a lot of pain, but I was unaware of my self it would seem. Existing outside of the loop creates a paradox. A automation that contrasts the motion that subsides this eternal core. Stillness in motion. I want to create a origin that consists with non selves. This is similar to the characters in muv luv, Innocent Grey, Falcom games. Individual selves... This is more interesting then collective selves.

 

[Uninstall]

This guy is poetic... nice use of meter, emotion.. welcome aboard again!

 

[Zeliar791]

Yes I have been confusing squares for circles. This is why I am currently in isolation. I used to have a liking for still art when I was younger, but I did not know why I liked it except for the fact that it resembled me in a way. As a result I have been tossed around by a typhoon, and have not had the chance to recover. Squares deal by 2s. Circles are automatic in comparison. When people advertise groups for example... These are circles dealing with automated non selves. Squares on the other hand do not have non selves, and are manual. They deal with equal transactions. Stillness in motion... It is useful to note that I have been unable to produce my own form as a result. I can only create friction with that which is not me, in order to determine my self. Unfortunately this is extremely painful. I cannot communicate without proper findings, but I have no choice but to keep trying unless I wish to abandon myself. Unique selves versus unique individuals... Circles do not process information in a sequence, yet I have been told I do not sequence. I find this puzzling as I do not possess a sequence in the first place. As a result my existence is a paradox. Lines intersecting circles.... My form is corrupted with motions. I haven't been successful online, because I haven't been sure of myself. Though I have noted art that has dealt with squares, and have found great pleasure in it. Stillness in music too is extremely rare... It is quite tranquil. I recollect a tune in patlabor one of my favorite series. In a movie, they showed an over view of a city with skyscrapers, and there was this tune that was incredible, but I did not know how to describe it. I also recall a track from Naoki Kenji in a chillout radio. This kind of music is exceedingly rare, but I do not know how to explain how this music appeals to me, and people tend to be teed off over my expressions. I mean it is difficult to communicate experiences unique only to myself. This is why I hate people, they will not factor in my experiences in their discussions.